In my last post, I discussed how you can find your refuge, both real and imagined, and take sanctuary in it whenever appropriate, or necessary. In this post, I consider the role vulnerability plays in your daily Middle Way Management™ walk.
Vulnerability in an Egoistic World
In our egoistic world, vulnerability is largely viewed as a weakness. Why is this? I believe it's because vulnerability is the outcome of practicing a management approach that is open, honest, candid, and, yes, compassionate. The typical American-style manager perceives him/herself as "tough but fair." Usually, they are just tough. They have no room for vulnerability because their self-identity is so wrapped up in their job title that they are operating from a position of fear at all times. Fear of looking bad before those they manage, fear of looking bad to their boss(es), fear of being perceived as weak, fear of the unknown.
Ego and fear are the enemies of vulnerability.
I recently completed the first and second phases of the Middle Way Management Assessment Instrument™ (MWM-AI™) study. The first phase was completed with the help of a panel of leadership and management experts. This group helped me define and refine a list of behavioral, leadership, and management characteristics that exemplify the Middle Way Manager™. The second phase was the development of a survey instrument for field testing. As I created the instrument items, I became keenly aware of the importance of vulnerability to the practice of Middle Way Management. A few items from the survey are
My direct manager...
...shows compassion for others at all levels of the organization.
...is sympathetic when needed.
...is not dogmatic in his/her beliefs (i.e., does not always need to be right).
...works to build and promote the team over self.
...is accountable for his/her actions to organizational stakeholders.
While these may appear to be the characteristics of any good manager, they are not always evident in the behaviors of American-style managers. These characteristics require a level of vulnerability that sidelines ego in the interest of others and the organization, and we know that the ego is always on the playing field in American-style management doing its best to look good--if it's not, it's on deck warming up.
It's Okay to be Vulnerable
The message I want to leave you with in this post is that it's okay to be vulnerable. Vulnerability does not denote weakness, it denotes honesty, candor, compassion, and empathy. When you are patient and kind, you are vulnerable. When you manage with vision and courage, you are vulnerable. When you put the interests of your team members before your own, you are vulnerable. And this is okay.
As your Middle Way Management practice matures, you will find that the outcomes you realize from your efforts overcome any perceptions of weakness. Walk your talk and embrace your vulnerability with mindfulness and purposeful intent and you will realize results that surprise even your harshest critics.
In my next post, I will discuss Middle Way Management and the role vision plays in your daily practice. It is a moral imperative of the Middle Way Manager to provide a clear, concise, achievable vision for the team. Providing vision builds trust and supplies a set of common goals that create the sort of "buy-in" money simply cannot buy.
Onward! Darin
Copyright © 2009, Darin R. Molnar, PhD. All rights reserved.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Middle Way Management and Finding Your Refuge
In my last post, I discussed how viewing stress from the perspective of creative tension is a great way to enhance your Middle Way Management™ practice. By morphing stress into creative tension, you increase your ability to manage with compassion, empathy, patience, kindness, and sympathy, all necessary aspects of your Middle Way Management daily walk. In this post, I present ideas about how to find and then take refuge from a sometimes chaotic organizational environment.
Finding Your Refuge
Refuge in the context of Middle Way Management can be real or metaphorical. Either way, your refuge should be a place where you go to reconnect and sort things out. Of course, you can, and probably should, have more than one refuge space upon which you rely. Your refuge can be at your place of work or somewhere outside (e.g., walking path around the office building). Your refuge can be purely imaginary--a "happy place" you go to when things are spinning around you. As a Middle Way Manager™, you will seek real or metaphorical refuge depending on immediate circumstances.
For instance, it's probably not appropriate to excuse yourself to take a walk during an important meeting because you want to exit a negative situation and feel the sun on your face. It's also imperative that you remain "here, now." I've certainly let my mind wander to more pleasant scenes during a meeting or two over the years. Invariably, someone then asks me for my opinion on a matter to which I've paid virtually no attention. Because it's one of the primary responsibilities of the Middle Way Manager to be present at all times, you should guard against this and take refuge when and where appropriate.
Taking Refuge
In an earlier post, I recommended taking time out of your busy schedule to engage in reflective thought. Hopefully, you are able to accomplish this in your own office with some privacy or in a room set aside by the organization for rest and relaxation. This is a case of real refuge, one that you can count on (remember to schedule out the time as a meeting) to recharge and rejuvenate, especially if your day has been hectic. I know that I eagerly anticipate my self-sanctioned "timeouts" as a way to collect my thoughts and plan for future events.
Other forms of real refuge can be spending quality time with sympathetic colleagues during work hours or after work. You can schedule lunches with friends or family and even skip lunch altogether in the interest of simply getting away from the workplace for a little while. I once read an article by a guy who espoused using a toilet stall as a form of refuge to take a quick nap. While I don't think lurking in the restroom is a great idea, I do believe his point that a place of refuge should include some solitary time to recharge your managerial batteries is a good one.
On the metaphorical, or imaginary, side, refuge can simply be a way to calm your mind, even briefly. In an earlier post, I suggested reflective thought and breathing exercises as ways to settle your busy mind. Bringing yourself into awareness through concentration on your breathing is a great way to keep yourself in the present and focus your energies. In fact, breathing in awareness may be the best approach because it helps you focus intently on the present, preventing the wandering of mind that is so easy to slip into when refocusing.
The Purpose of Refuge
The purpose of taking refuge is to help you calm yourself in the midst of the storm. As an active manager in an American-style organization, you will typically reside in the eye of that storm when you take refuge. Remember, though, that the storm is always moving. Eventually, it will wash over you once again and you will be right back in the thick of things. By calming yourself in the midst of the storm, you allow yourself to re-energize your daily Middle Way Management practice. Only when you are calm and composed will you be able to manage with compassion, empathy, sympathy, understanding, and kindness.
In my next post, I will consider how practicing Middle Way Management requires you to be vulnerable in the face of egoistic and aggressive forces that are part and parcel of American-style organizational management. Only by acknowledging and embracing our vulnerability can we practice the level of compassion necessary to relieve suffering at all levels of the organization.
Copyright © 2009, Darin R. Molnar, PhD. All rights reserved.
Finding Your Refuge
Refuge in the context of Middle Way Management can be real or metaphorical. Either way, your refuge should be a place where you go to reconnect and sort things out. Of course, you can, and probably should, have more than one refuge space upon which you rely. Your refuge can be at your place of work or somewhere outside (e.g., walking path around the office building). Your refuge can be purely imaginary--a "happy place" you go to when things are spinning around you. As a Middle Way Manager™, you will seek real or metaphorical refuge depending on immediate circumstances.
For instance, it's probably not appropriate to excuse yourself to take a walk during an important meeting because you want to exit a negative situation and feel the sun on your face. It's also imperative that you remain "here, now." I've certainly let my mind wander to more pleasant scenes during a meeting or two over the years. Invariably, someone then asks me for my opinion on a matter to which I've paid virtually no attention. Because it's one of the primary responsibilities of the Middle Way Manager to be present at all times, you should guard against this and take refuge when and where appropriate.
Taking Refuge
In an earlier post, I recommended taking time out of your busy schedule to engage in reflective thought. Hopefully, you are able to accomplish this in your own office with some privacy or in a room set aside by the organization for rest and relaxation. This is a case of real refuge, one that you can count on (remember to schedule out the time as a meeting) to recharge and rejuvenate, especially if your day has been hectic. I know that I eagerly anticipate my self-sanctioned "timeouts" as a way to collect my thoughts and plan for future events.
Other forms of real refuge can be spending quality time with sympathetic colleagues during work hours or after work. You can schedule lunches with friends or family and even skip lunch altogether in the interest of simply getting away from the workplace for a little while. I once read an article by a guy who espoused using a toilet stall as a form of refuge to take a quick nap. While I don't think lurking in the restroom is a great idea, I do believe his point that a place of refuge should include some solitary time to recharge your managerial batteries is a good one.
On the metaphorical, or imaginary, side, refuge can simply be a way to calm your mind, even briefly. In an earlier post, I suggested reflective thought and breathing exercises as ways to settle your busy mind. Bringing yourself into awareness through concentration on your breathing is a great way to keep yourself in the present and focus your energies. In fact, breathing in awareness may be the best approach because it helps you focus intently on the present, preventing the wandering of mind that is so easy to slip into when refocusing.
The Purpose of Refuge
The purpose of taking refuge is to help you calm yourself in the midst of the storm. As an active manager in an American-style organization, you will typically reside in the eye of that storm when you take refuge. Remember, though, that the storm is always moving. Eventually, it will wash over you once again and you will be right back in the thick of things. By calming yourself in the midst of the storm, you allow yourself to re-energize your daily Middle Way Management practice. Only when you are calm and composed will you be able to manage with compassion, empathy, sympathy, understanding, and kindness.
In my next post, I will consider how practicing Middle Way Management requires you to be vulnerable in the face of egoistic and aggressive forces that are part and parcel of American-style organizational management. Only by acknowledging and embracing our vulnerability can we practice the level of compassion necessary to relieve suffering at all levels of the organization.
Copyright © 2009, Darin R. Molnar, PhD. All rights reserved.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Middle Way Management, Stress, and Creative Tension
In my last post, I discussed how values are really at the foundation of everything you do as a Middle Way Manager™. Values color your perceptions and create biases - both positive and negative - that you use in your daily Middle Way Management™ walk. Recognizing and appreciating the values of your team members will also help you understand them better. This way, you can practice compassion, empathy, kindness, and understanding in natural, authentic ways. In this post, I will consider how you can turn a stressful situation into one where creative tension ushers you point-to-point without damaging relationships or compromising your values.
Good Stress, Bad Stress
While we've all experienced stress of some form, especially as managers, psychologists tell us that not all stress is bad. Yet, terms like "stress management" have created a buzz around stress that tells us it's something to be eradicated for the good of all. But is this really the case? Stress is indicated in our bodies in several ways. We breathe differently, we move differently, we even think differently under duress, all of which have been necessary survival tactics during our long evolution into Homo sapiens postmodernensis. What I'm suggesting here is that fight-or-flight is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, it can be quite good.
We've all been in a situation in which flight seemed like a logical response to the energies at hand. I certainly know I have. During these times, my mind goes on a short hiatus and I'm left looking for the nearest exit. Now, this can be as immediate as potential direct harm to your person or a feeling that you need to "get out of here." And "getting out of here" can involve a quick retreat from an organizational situation or even the organization itself. Regardless, the thing to take away from these experiences is what your mind did and where it went while you were under stress.
Systems Science to the Rescue
In his book, The Fifth Discipline, Senge (2006) presents the idea of creative tension. He suggests the reader visualize a rubber band looped over the backs of both hands while pulling them apart. On, say, the left hand is your current position while the right is the place you want to eventually reach. He recommends decreasing the amount of tension between the two in creative ways so you reach your goal over time with less, well, stress. Like Senge, I consider the tension between current place and goal position to be the domain of stress.
Viewing stress this way changes it from something negative to something that offers Middle Way Managers myriad opportunities to inject creative energy into organizational pursuits. Whenever you begin to feel the telltale signs of stress, you are offered a chance to raise your awareness to respond in more positive ways to the issue(s) at hand. This consciously mindful approach lies at the heart of Middle Way Management and you should be grateful for every stressor that allows you to walk your Middle Way Management talk.
One way to do this is to categorize your potential stressors and concentrate upon a single category until you've mastered it. For instance, if you manage a large group of people, a category of focus might be "people issues" for a week. Every time someone brings you something that requires your attention (remember, stress is created by "good" and "bad" scenarios), you can raise your awareness to recognize the inherent stressor and why you feel the way you do. Once you recognize this, it's a short trip to turn the stress into creative , goal-directed tension. Will this instantly solve any problems you must address? Probably not always, yet it will expand your perspective into a solution space, rather than a problem space.
Why Does This Matter?
While this topic might seem tangential to your Middle Way Management practice, handling stress, both "good" and "bad," typically requires a new perspective. Morphing stress into creative tension matters here because the promotion of positive energy in your daily Middle Way Management walk is a fundamental aspect of managing with compassion while practicing empathy, patience, sympathy, and kindness. Each of these helps you achieve your primary goal as an active, mindful Middle Way Manager: the relief of suffering at all levels of the organization.
In my next post, I will consider Middle Way Management and finding your refuge. This is necessary in a hectic, sometimes chaotic, work environment. By taking refuge, you rejuvenate and re-energize yourself, which is good for you, for your team members, and for the organization at large.
Senge, P. M. (2006). The fifth discipline: The art and practice of the learning organization. New York: Broadway Business.
Copyright © 2009, Darin R. Molnar, PhD. All rights reserved.
Good Stress, Bad Stress
While we've all experienced stress of some form, especially as managers, psychologists tell us that not all stress is bad. Yet, terms like "stress management" have created a buzz around stress that tells us it's something to be eradicated for the good of all. But is this really the case? Stress is indicated in our bodies in several ways. We breathe differently, we move differently, we even think differently under duress, all of which have been necessary survival tactics during our long evolution into Homo sapiens postmodernensis. What I'm suggesting here is that fight-or-flight is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, it can be quite good.
We've all been in a situation in which flight seemed like a logical response to the energies at hand. I certainly know I have. During these times, my mind goes on a short hiatus and I'm left looking for the nearest exit. Now, this can be as immediate as potential direct harm to your person or a feeling that you need to "get out of here." And "getting out of here" can involve a quick retreat from an organizational situation or even the organization itself. Regardless, the thing to take away from these experiences is what your mind did and where it went while you were under stress.
Systems Science to the Rescue
In his book, The Fifth Discipline, Senge (2006) presents the idea of creative tension. He suggests the reader visualize a rubber band looped over the backs of both hands while pulling them apart. On, say, the left hand is your current position while the right is the place you want to eventually reach. He recommends decreasing the amount of tension between the two in creative ways so you reach your goal over time with less, well, stress. Like Senge, I consider the tension between current place and goal position to be the domain of stress.
Viewing stress this way changes it from something negative to something that offers Middle Way Managers myriad opportunities to inject creative energy into organizational pursuits. Whenever you begin to feel the telltale signs of stress, you are offered a chance to raise your awareness to respond in more positive ways to the issue(s) at hand. This consciously mindful approach lies at the heart of Middle Way Management and you should be grateful for every stressor that allows you to walk your Middle Way Management talk.
One way to do this is to categorize your potential stressors and concentrate upon a single category until you've mastered it. For instance, if you manage a large group of people, a category of focus might be "people issues" for a week. Every time someone brings you something that requires your attention (remember, stress is created by "good" and "bad" scenarios), you can raise your awareness to recognize the inherent stressor and why you feel the way you do. Once you recognize this, it's a short trip to turn the stress into creative , goal-directed tension. Will this instantly solve any problems you must address? Probably not always, yet it will expand your perspective into a solution space, rather than a problem space.
Why Does This Matter?
While this topic might seem tangential to your Middle Way Management practice, handling stress, both "good" and "bad," typically requires a new perspective. Morphing stress into creative tension matters here because the promotion of positive energy in your daily Middle Way Management walk is a fundamental aspect of managing with compassion while practicing empathy, patience, sympathy, and kindness. Each of these helps you achieve your primary goal as an active, mindful Middle Way Manager: the relief of suffering at all levels of the organization.
In my next post, I will consider Middle Way Management and finding your refuge. This is necessary in a hectic, sometimes chaotic, work environment. By taking refuge, you rejuvenate and re-energize yourself, which is good for you, for your team members, and for the organization at large.
Reference
Senge, P. M. (2006). The fifth discipline: The art and practice of the learning organization. New York: Broadway Business.
Copyright © 2009, Darin R. Molnar, PhD. All rights reserved.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Middle Way Management and Values
In my last post, I presented the "Magic Mirror"--the one in which we see ourselves reflected when we form opinions about others. While it applies to many interactions you have with organizational members during the course of practicing Middle Way Management™, it certainly does not generalize to all of them. More than anything, my purpose here is to raise topics that spur additional discussion, which the Magic Mirror post most definitely accomplished. In this post, I will discuss the role your values play in your daily Middle Way Management practice.
What Do You Value?
As a practicing Middle Way Manager™, you have already demonstrated that you value people and how they are treated in an organizational context. You value yourself or you wouldn't assume you have anything to offer the organization or the people and resources under your watch. You value the organization for which you spend your invaluable time and energy and, of course, you value all of the things in your personal life that make life worth living.
Yet, aren't values something more than simply those "things" you value in your life (imagined or real)? Like culture, values are reified objects - intellectual constructs we use throughout our day to measure and weigh every situation that arises. Values are deeply ingrained and can be quite difficult to articulate, until they are threatened. Values change over time, morphing into something that can pop up to surprise us when we least expect it. In the end, we cannot escape our values; they inform and color everything we see, hear, and do--they are at the foundation of everything.
Generating Values
A few months ago, I worked with a colleague to create the "ValuesGenerator". This Web-based application is a sorting exercise in which participants decide which values listed on virtual cards (e.g., family, honesty, integrity, etc.) to put in the "keeper" pile and which to discard. By the end of the exercise, participants are left with their top six choices--six values that rise above all others. For many, this provides a moment of surprise and clarity. For others, it just reinforces what they already know about themselves.
One feedback remark we received is that values definitions have different meanings for different people. For instance, "family" can mean one thing to a heterosexual male with no kids and entirely another to a lesbian with two children in her household. In an American-style organizational context, "candor" can be situational while in a religious organization it might be expected under any and all circumstances. Clearly, values are nuanced in ways that can make agreement upon their definitions problematic at best.
An Opportunity for Dialogue
While I understand that agreement upon values definitions can be problematic, I do not consider this a problem, especially for the Middle Way Manager. Whenever complete agreement is not reached on any topic, it is not a stopping point; rather, it's a beginning from which understanding can be created.
The ValuesGenerator is a way for organizational members to make explicit their values and then engage in respectful dialogue that works to bring organizational members closer together in unforeseen ways. As understanding is reached between people, they see that compassion and empathy, sympathy and understanding are more easily realized. They see that walking the Middle Way Management path is easier when the values that lead to motivations which result in behaviors are brought to the surface.
Judge Not, Lest Ye Be Judged
As a Middle Way Manager, you must seriously consider the role judgment plays in your daily walk. Like every other aspect of your Middle Way Management practice, values will lie at the heart of how you interact with others and what judgments you make about their behaviors. Judgment is a tricky thing, especially if you have not made the necessary effort to fully understand the values of your team members. Remember, one of your primary Middle Way Management objectives is the relief of suffering across all levels of the organization.
Personal values incongruence or conflict can create significant individual suffering, which you will see manifested as depressive, unproductive, or difficult team member behaviors. This is when your sensitivity about judgment and understanding the values of others will become an important part of your daily practice. How you negotiate such relationships under these circumstances will determine how effectively you walk your Middle Way Management talk.
In my next post, I will discuss Middle Way Management, stress, and creative tension. The Middle Way Manager works to move stress into a creative space where options are plentiful and solutions abound.
Until then...
Onward! Darin
Copyright © 2009, Darin R. Molnar, PhD. All rights reserved.
What Do You Value?
As a practicing Middle Way Manager™, you have already demonstrated that you value people and how they are treated in an organizational context. You value yourself or you wouldn't assume you have anything to offer the organization or the people and resources under your watch. You value the organization for which you spend your invaluable time and energy and, of course, you value all of the things in your personal life that make life worth living.
Yet, aren't values something more than simply those "things" you value in your life (imagined or real)? Like culture, values are reified objects - intellectual constructs we use throughout our day to measure and weigh every situation that arises. Values are deeply ingrained and can be quite difficult to articulate, until they are threatened. Values change over time, morphing into something that can pop up to surprise us when we least expect it. In the end, we cannot escape our values; they inform and color everything we see, hear, and do--they are at the foundation of everything.
Generating Values
A few months ago, I worked with a colleague to create the "ValuesGenerator". This Web-based application is a sorting exercise in which participants decide which values listed on virtual cards (e.g., family, honesty, integrity, etc.) to put in the "keeper" pile and which to discard. By the end of the exercise, participants are left with their top six choices--six values that rise above all others. For many, this provides a moment of surprise and clarity. For others, it just reinforces what they already know about themselves.
One feedback remark we received is that values definitions have different meanings for different people. For instance, "family" can mean one thing to a heterosexual male with no kids and entirely another to a lesbian with two children in her household. In an American-style organizational context, "candor" can be situational while in a religious organization it might be expected under any and all circumstances. Clearly, values are nuanced in ways that can make agreement upon their definitions problematic at best.
An Opportunity for Dialogue
While I understand that agreement upon values definitions can be problematic, I do not consider this a problem, especially for the Middle Way Manager. Whenever complete agreement is not reached on any topic, it is not a stopping point; rather, it's a beginning from which understanding can be created.
The ValuesGenerator is a way for organizational members to make explicit their values and then engage in respectful dialogue that works to bring organizational members closer together in unforeseen ways. As understanding is reached between people, they see that compassion and empathy, sympathy and understanding are more easily realized. They see that walking the Middle Way Management path is easier when the values that lead to motivations which result in behaviors are brought to the surface.
Judge Not, Lest Ye Be Judged
As a Middle Way Manager, you must seriously consider the role judgment plays in your daily walk. Like every other aspect of your Middle Way Management practice, values will lie at the heart of how you interact with others and what judgments you make about their behaviors. Judgment is a tricky thing, especially if you have not made the necessary effort to fully understand the values of your team members. Remember, one of your primary Middle Way Management objectives is the relief of suffering across all levels of the organization.
Personal values incongruence or conflict can create significant individual suffering, which you will see manifested as depressive, unproductive, or difficult team member behaviors. This is when your sensitivity about judgment and understanding the values of others will become an important part of your daily practice. How you negotiate such relationships under these circumstances will determine how effectively you walk your Middle Way Management talk.
In my next post, I will discuss Middle Way Management, stress, and creative tension. The Middle Way Manager works to move stress into a creative space where options are plentiful and solutions abound.
Until then...
Onward! Darin
Copyright © 2009, Darin R. Molnar, PhD. All rights reserved.
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