Middle Way Management and Boundaries

In my last post, I discussed the role humility plays in a Middle Way Manager's™ daily practice. Humility is a necessary part of Middle Way Management™  because it removes many ego drives and allows a Middle Way Manager to approach those he manages with grace and respect. In this post, I discuss how boundaries can help a Middle Way Manager maintain a vibrant, healthy workplace environment.

Whenever I bring up the topic of boundaries, a negative connotation threatens the model. Boundaries are not negative. In fact, they are a very positive thing for both the person setting them and for those on the receiving end. Boundaries show respect in two ways: to yourself and to those around you. Setting boundaries is a clear form of communication, one that establishes expectations and provides a framework for gentle accountability, a hallmark of the Middle Way Manager.

Autocompassion

A topic that I have not touched upon on in this blog is self-compassion. Many of us spend a considerable amount of time practicing patience and kindness, ensuring we do not pass unfair judgment on others, yet we are relentless critics of our own behaviors. I am surely my own harshest critic. I do not afford myself the forgiveness I offer to others nor do I always take the time out of my busy day to think deeply about my actions and motivations. Clearly, I have yet to fulfill on the Middle Way Management idea that we must set boundaries with ourselves first.

How do we set boundaries for ourselves first? We set our own boundaries by practicing self-compassion and recognizing when we might violate our personal standards of integrity. An example self-boundary might be telling the truth in all situations, even when it is hard. Such a boundary can be difficult to maintain, especially if you are someone who wants “everything to be okay.” Trying to not cause harm to anyone by equivocating (or outright lying) ends up harming everyone involved in the interaction – you and the persons with whom you are involved. For instance, telling an executive manager that a team is making good progress when it is not with the intent of shielding the team from potential managerial chaos is a lie (no matter how small) that will catch up with you and your team. In such a case, you have put the organization, your manager, your team, and yourself at risk of failure.

Respectful Fences

Another boundary in the workplace that is often crossed results in overcommitment, leading to task or job failure. Of course, a manager can do the same thing by overpromising on behalf of the team. In the case of a team member, a manager might ask him/her to take on an unforeseen task when the team member is already overburdened with other work. Rather than respectfully declining the request in the interest of not putting everyone involved at risk of failure, we will often accept such requests with the full intent of fulfilling on our promises. Usually, the result is a plunge from hero to zero, which serves no one involved. Setting a clear boundary in this case is a compassionate way to avoid potential failure by allowing the requesting manager to seek help where resources might be more plentiful or appropriate to the task. It also preserves a healthy self-compassion and self-respect.

Until recently, I was one of those people who would over-promise and then either harm myself by working too much, too hard, and on the wrong things to fulfill on my commitment or simply fail at the job. By honestly and forthrightly saying “no” when appropriate, I am showing both myself and the person requesting my help a higher level of respect. Of course, my previous interpretation was that saying “yes” to everything asked of me shows a healthy measure of respect when, in fact, it does not – it only puts myself, the person requesting my help, my team and my organization at risk, which is where none of us wish to find ourselves. Saying “no” in love and compassion sets boundaries that are well-defined and results in success for everyone involved. Try it today – you will be amazed at the results.

Onward! Darin

Copyright © 2009-2012, Darin R. Molnar, PhD. All rights reserved.

Middle Way Management and Humility

In my last post, I discussed how to recognize and relieve suffering in the workplace. As a Middle Way Manager™, it is your special responsibility to work with those you manage to relieve their suffering, regardless of its origins. In this post, I will consider what it means to be humble and how to practice humility on a daily basis as you develop your Middle Way Management™ practice.

It's Hard to be Humble
It truly is hard to manage with humility in an American-style organization, especially if you live in the United States. Are we not taught that the leader charges ahead of the pack, relying only on his wits and wisdom to lead everyone else into a brighter future? That it is not only desirable, but necessary, for the leader/manager to recognize, develop, and loudly proclaim her leadership strengths? That a humble person is soft-spoken, walks with his head down, eyes directed at the floor, never acknowledging his own self-worth? None of these attributes should be a part of your daily Middle Way Management practice and here's why.

The Bold, the Proud, the Humble
Personal pride should be a fundamental part of your Middle Way Management practice. You simply cannot develop a solid, congruent management practice - of any kind - without it. Is this the sort of pride that is boastful and arrogant? Certainly not. Is this the sort of pride that recognizes you as a special person here at a special time to fulfill a special duty? Certainly! Taking pride in your own achievements is a healthy way to build your own commitment to an organization while developing a trust relationship with those you manage. Yet, how does this fit with humility in the workplace?

Humility is a special quality that requires both introspection and honesty. The humble manager understands her strengths and weaknesses and works to maximize her effectiveness within the context of the organization. Humility does not promote boasting or sycophantic behavior; it requires a manager to think, speak, and act with clarity of purpose and to view himself as a critical part of the organization's success. The humble manager understands that his success depends entirely upon the team. In this way, the manager only ever operates in a support role - as a facilitator of success. When you are humble, honest, forthright, and clear, trust will abound and the team will excel.

Back to the Breath
Because humility falls under the "way of being" rubric of Middle Way Management, the single best way to become humble is to reflect upon it during your busy work day. Once again, taking time to sit quietly and concentrate on your breathing will prepare you to move into concentrating on humility. Breathe in and recognize your breath, breathe out and recognize your breath.  Breath in and consider humility, breath out and consider humility. It takes very little effort to incorporate ideals like humility, compassion, and accountability into your thought processes simply by concentrating on them for a few minutes every day. Of course, deftly applying the Middle Way Management practice methodology will also help you change your habits and behaviors in long-term, lasting ways, as well.

In my next post, I will discuss boundaries and how they can help you develop your Middle Way Management practice based upon trust, a basic requirement of the true Middle Way Manager.

Until then...go now, and manage with compassion!

Onward! Darin

Copyright © 2009-2012, Darin R. Molnar, PhD. All rights reserved.

Middle Way Management and Suffering

In my last post, I discussed freedom - the sort of psychological freedom that leads to right thought, right speech, and right action. In this post, I consider how the true Middle Way Manager™ addresses suffering at the individual and organizational levels.

Suffering in the Workplace
As one of the Four Noble Truths of Buddhist traditions reminds us, suffering exists, and it exists in many forms. Psychologists tell us that the suffering caused by depression, a mental malady, causes real, physical pain. Considering this, we must remain attentive to those who suffer in the workplace - for whatever reason. As we consider suffering in an organizational context, we understand that suffering at the individual and organizational levels causes intense pain that dictates behaviors. A person who is suffering is often angry, spiteful, and hard to work with. Likewise, the suffering organization creates an environment of anxiety that represses creativity and inhibits innovation. Clearly, suffering in the workplace must be recognized and relieved, which is a mandate of the true Middle Way Manager™.

What is Suffering?
People and organizations suffer in so many ways it is impossible to catalog them here. Middle Way Managers cannot always completely understand the causes of suffering, yet they can certainly recognize the symptoms. The suffering organizational member is contentious and quick to judge others. S/he is often late for work or does not complete tasks on time. The suffering organization is ineffective and inefficient with a dark cloud hanging over all. Organizational members work in vacuums and teamwork simply does not take place. The culture of the organization encourages backbiting and gossip and little real work gets accomplished. When both individuals and organizations are suffering, organizational members work in an environment of fear, uncertainty, and doubt (the good, old FUD Factor).

Individual suffering can be caused by issues in the home and at work. Regardless of the origin, it is suffering nonetheless. So often, managers are prisoners of a mindset that considers only work-related issues to be of any importance in a person's work life. Unfortunately, it is inevitable that people bring their suffering to the workplace. Even those who try not to let personal matters affect their work performance struggle with hiding thoughts and emotions throughout their busy day, which, of course, affects their work performance. Issues between organizational members (including managers and those they manage) can seriously affect performance on both sides of the relationship. Regardless of the cause(s), it is the responsibility of the Middle Way Manager to recognize suffering and take measures to relieve it.

Organizational suffering is caused by leaders and managers. Because these people set the policies and often create the procedures of organizations, it is their responsibility to see that their work does not create undue suffering. Draconian managerial edicts and treating people like children cause suffering. Encouraging a culture of duplicity and allowing people to treat each other poorly cause suffering. Handing down goals and objectives that are impossible to meet causes suffering. Considering people to be nothing more than resources to be manipulated in the interest of profit, rather than vital human beings, causes suffering. It is the special responsibility of leaders and managers to recognize their roles in the relief of suffering in organizations.

The Relief of Suffering
Like suffering, its relief can take many forms. Many organizations have policies and procedures in place to help relieve the suffering of organizational members. Employee assistance programs, health insurance and counseling availability, and plain, old-fashioned personal interest are excellent ways to help relieve individual suffering. Managing  with compassion and gentle accountability creates an environment in which people understand that it is okay to suffer and that there are ways to relieve their suffering. Encouraging organizational members to seek help when it is needed and to offer the time for them to do so must be a part of your Middle Way Management practice. Helping people change habits and behaviors by applying the Middle Way Management practice methodology can help move people into a new thought space that relieves their suffering on several levels.

Regardless of the method(s) you choose, the relief of suffering at the individual and organizational levels is a crucial part of developing your Middle Way Management practice. You will find that relieving the suffering of others with compassion and empathy increases your own happiness and makes working at your organization a more fulfilling and rewarding experience.

In my next post, I will consider the role of humility in your Middle Way Management practice.

Until then...go now, and manage with compassion!

Onward! Darin

Copyright © 2009-2012, Darin R. Molnar, PhD. All rights reserved.

Middle Way Management and Freedom

In my last post, I discussed three prevailing views accessible to us in the Western world today: premodern (ancient), modern (scientific), and postmodern. Recognizing your dominant worldview at any point in time is crucial to mindfulness and critical to creating and maintaining a successful Middle Way Management™ practice. In this post, I consider freedom in the context of Middle Way Management.

What does it mean to be truly free?
In the Buddhist traditions, freedom from desire is the ultimate goal of all believers; yet, what does it mean to be truly free in a world that values above nearly all else aggressive behaviors and the accumulation of  more wealth than one could possibly spend in a lifetime? Buddhists think about freedom in two basic ways. First, they consider freedom from desire to be one of the main pursuits of practitioners. This sort of freedom is a psychological benefit that includes the ability to say "no" to desires as they arise in the mind. In this way, they break the intellectual and psychological bonds holding them to a course that is potentially disastrous. Often, this takes the form of restraint - restraint of thought, speech, and action - that pushes them into a new reality.

Second, freedom can be represented by choosing to say "yes" to something as it arises. For instance, a behavioral restraint is almost always accompanied by an alternate choice that substitutes an incongruous behavior with a congruous one, resulting in a triumph over prejudicial thought. A choice is made that leads to right speech and right action, both fundamental behavioral characteristics of the practicing Buddhist. Because these efforts take place in the mind, is it not possible for someone to let go of desire, a psycho-intellectual longing, in favor of release from wanting? In this way, even someone who is unfairly incarcerated can achieve a freedom and internal peace that might not be possible if s/he were living in the outside world.

Freedom in the Workplace
Because the practice of compassion in the workplace is the primary goal of the Middle Way Manager™, freedom is a building block on the road to achieving that goal. The Middle Way Manager has a special responsibility to help people earn freedom from oppression, subjugation, exploitation, and needless worry in the workplace. Of course, how this is accomplished can take any one of an endless number of forms. Can a Middle Way Manager help someone achieve complete freedom from desire? Most probably not. Can a Middle Way Manager help someone shift perspective or change a habitual behavior in favor of one that produces a more desirable outcome (for both the individual and the organization)? Most certainly.

As with mindfulness and compassion in general, the Middle Way Manager's practice must begin with the self. Self-compassion, compassion, and mindfulness cannot be taught by someone who does not already practice them. Not only would this be hypocritical, it would be fruitless because it would be tantamount to allowing, say, me to teach someone how to run the particle accelerator at CERN. Not a good idea - at all. My lack of knowledge and experience would surely result in catastrophe. Likewise, a Middle Way Manager who practices and manages hypocritically is inviting disaster into his or her own life, the lives of those they manage, and the organization at large.

The Ultimate Goal
Regardless of how the Middle Way Manager chooses to promote freedom among those s/he manages, and there are many ways, the end result must be an increase in the level of compassion at the individual and organizational levels. An organizational member whose mind is free of fear, uncertainty, and doubt (the FUD Factor) is one who can offer creative and innovative solutions, rather than create more chaos around an issue in the workplace. The truly free organizational member operates at top capacity with love, energy, and excitement. This is the person who gets up in the morning excited about what the day holds at work. Just remember that you can create this energetic environment simply by helping the people you manage achieve some level of intellectual and psychological freedom in the place where they spend a majority of their waking time - your workplace.

In my next post, I will consider boundaries and how a healthy respect for your own boundaries, as well as those of others, can help make your Middle Way Management practice more vibrant and productive.

Until then...go, and manage with compassion!

Onward! Darin

Copyright © 2009/2010, Darin R. Molnar, PhD. All rights reserved.