Middle Way Management and Self-Identity

Revisiting Middle Way Management and the Self
In previous posts, I talked about how many of our non-Middle Way Management™ behaviors are born of our fears. I discussed how ego's sole aim is self-preservation, even at the expense of the very creature it inhabits - you! In this post, my intent is to examine self-definition while taking into consideration the content of those previous posts.

So, What Do You Do?
Most of us respond to the question, "So, what do you do?" with a simple answer: "I am my job." We might not say those exact words, but that's what we really mean. "I'm a software engineer." "I'm a dental technician." "I'm a Middle Way Manager." Wouldn't that last answer elicit a surprised look with followup questions!? I always have a hard time answering the "What do you do?" question because I think it's nothing more than a limiting qualifier intended to pigeonhole me into a group or judgment category for the person asking. I often answer, "A little of this, a little of that," which generally doesn't go over very well.

My main concern here is with how people typically answer this question. Most of us respond with our job title. I must admit the first response that often leaps to mind is what I do in my "day job", as well. I've been conditioned to respond this way based upon years of linear, non-Middle Way Management thinking. This thinking was centered around a self-definition based upon my ego needs. For many years, I thought I was an "IT guy." It turns out I'm more than that. Much more.

You Are Not Your Job
As you develop your Middle Way Management practice, always remember you are not your job. You are more than your job. You are someone with a purpose that may or may not have anything whatsoever to do with your job. We have all come to this place at this time for a reason and it is one of your primary duties as Middle Way Managers to discover this reason. Granted, some people know in their hearts that their mission on this planet is to accomplish as much as possible in their organizational positions. Yet, I would remind these people that they, too, are not their jobs.

If you are confident you are fulfilling your life purpose in your current organizational position, I wish you well on your journey. If you are choosing to develop a Middle Way Management practice along the way, even better. But, what about those who do not feel they are in the right organizational position at the right time? What if you are a manager who feels you have somehow fallen off track? What if you, in fact, hate your job, yet you are stuck because you must pay the mortgage, get the kids through school, etc.?

There is hope in Middle Way Management. As you increase the mindful awareness and compassion with which you manage others, you will notice positive transformations developing in every aspect of your life. Shifting the way you choose to define yourself (i.e., you are more than your job) will spill over into every other compartment of your life. There is simply no way it cannot. By practicing awareness through breathing and constant mindfulness as a reactionary safety net, your sense of inner calm and general self-awareness will grow, sometimes without you even knowing it is happening.

Discovering Your True Nature
Combining the breathing exercise (from a previous post) with the phrase, "I am more than my job," is a way to calm yourself and discover your true nature. As you develop your Middle Way Management practice and devote time to reflective thought and aware breathing, you will come closer to discovering your true nature.

You will find that your true nature is more than your job title; it is who you are in the deepest part of your being and who you are becoming. It is in becoming that you will discover your own Middle Way Management path of consciously mindful compassion and genuine empathy. It is through the purposeful practice of Middle Way Management that you will find your true self.

Got a bad boss? How about a good one? My next post considers how to "manage up" using Middle Way Management.

Onward! Darin

Copyright © 2009, Darin R. Molnar, PhD. All rights reserved.