Walking the Middle Way Management Talk

Approaching Ego and Fear with Mindful Awareness
In my last post, I talked about the role of ego and how to face your fears and limitations as a way to enhance your practice of Middle Way Management™. When you recognize that ego is pushing your emotions to the limit or that your fears are getting the best of you, you can take immediate, proactive steps to relieve your own suffering.

By relieving your own suffering, you relieve the suffering of those you lead and manage in both tangible and unforeseen ways. By relieving your own suffering and the suffering of those around you, you relieve suffering throughout your organization via the Ripple Effect.

As a busy Middle Way Manager™, you can accomplish this in two ways, both of which will bring you to a settled place of conscious awareness in the midst of organizational chaos.

The First Approach: Breathing in Awareness
You have one thing in common with everyone else currently living on the planet: You breathe in and you breathe out. When you stop doing this, you've reached what system scientists call the "terminal state." This is not good for your Middle Way Management practice or for your health in general, so do keep breathing.

Recognizing that you breathe in and out on a regular basis, you can use your breath as a way to increase your mindfulness. By coming back to an awareness of your breathing, you are acknowledging your place in the world, that you are vital and alive, doing what you enjoy - managing people in an organization. In this way, you can not only return to your personal island of calm when everything is busting loose around you, you can use it as a way to increase your awareness throughout your busy day.

One of the best ways to practice mindful breathing is to silently recite a phrase or two while breathing in and breathing out. The phrase(s) you choose can be anything you find meaningful and should be something positive that calms you and helps settle your racing mind. For instance, I use two brief phrases: "I am breathing in here, now," and "I am breathing out here, now."

Very simple.

And it helps me focus (those of you who know me well will appreciate this). This is not a mystical or religious practice; it simply brings me back to an awareness of where I am and what I am doing so that I'm living NOW, rather in a "coulda woulda shoulda" space. In my own case, this activity has led me to an increasingly mindful approach to life in general, but that's another post for another time.

Choose two meaningful phrases right now and give it a shot - practice mindful breathing that brings you back to a calm place of awareness. Easy stuff.

The Second Approach: Anchoring a Calming Association
I understand that not every situation will allow you to stop what you're doing to calm your breathing and increase your mindful awareness. Believe me, I've been in those meetings where the fur is flying and it's not a terribly pleasant experience. Typically, the last thing on my mind is coming back to my breathing. Recognizing this brings us to the second approach: Anchoring a calming association.

Anchoring a calming association requires a little more effort than mindful breathing, but not too much more. Anchoring is a proven Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP) technique that has been used quite effectively for many years now. Anchoring yourself to a calming association is something you can accomplish very quickly, certainly within the time it takes to read this blog post.

The key to anchoring is your ability to put yourself into a positive emotional state. I do this by thinking of a specific pleasant event I enjoyed with my children. This state does not necessarily have to be overwhelmingly intense, yet it should be something more than a pleasant thought. You must emotionalize your state so the anchoring has a chance to "take." Once you're in a positively emotionalized state, pinch (not hard) the muscle of your hand between your thumb and forefinger. Repeat this exercise until pinching the muscle under just about any circumstance puts you into your chosen pleasant state. Congratulations, you're anchored.

Now, when someone is treating you in a not-so-mindfully-conscious way, you have an unobtrusive anchor you can use to diffuse your own emotional reactions, thereby relieving your own suffering and, probably, that of the person with whom you are interacting. Out of a mindful awareness created by referencing your anchor, you will not be reactive, your voice will be low and calm, and you may even smile (if appropriate).

As you did with your mindful breathing, try this now. It's not hard to do and you can begin using your anchor immediately (why wait?).

That's it for this message. In my next post, I'll discuss how to transcend the hegemony of organizational culture through mindful awareness and the compassionate practice of Middle Way Management. This is important for the Middle Way Manager as a way of maintaining a consciously mindful awareness in the midst of an organizational culture that emphasizes the less compassionate aspects of Western-style capitalism.

Onward! Darin

Copyright © 2009, Darin R. Molnar, PhD. All rights reserved.