Managing Up with Middle Way Management

A Couple of (Very) Good Bosses
I've been in the workforce just about all of my life. I started out picking berries, something that is generally too labor intensive for the present generation of pre-teens and teens. I don't begrudge them this attitude. Riding a bike or walking in the chill morning rain to spend the day up to my elbows in ice-cold berry plants, covered with mud and soaked to the bone was never my idea of a good time. Yet, I learned some good lessons over the course of those summers.

One lesson I picked up from spending years communing with nature for profit was that there are all kinds of bosses. The kindly couple who owned the berry patch where I worked were good bosses. They were tough, but fair and always worked as hard as any of their pickers. They were originally from Japan and it was said that during the shameful internment period of World War II, a neighbor cared for the deed to their farm until they could return to begin anew. I believe this lesson, and those from the culture in which they came of age, were not lost on them.

As I prepared to put my thoughts down here, it occurred to me that these people were probably the best bosses I've ever had. They rose early in the morning, worked hard all day, paid fairly and on time, and were always ready with a good ribbing. I believe their management style was the result of compassionate practice. They really did care about the kids who worked for them and it showed.

Missed Opportunities
Again, as I prepared my thoughts, it also struck me that there exists not one example besides the Japanese couple of a boss, or even an organization, for which I have worked that has given one whit about me as a person. Perhaps this is related to the industry in which I have mostly worked over the course of my adult life (Information Technology), yet I suspect it's something deeper, something endemic to Western capitalism and organizational management that considers me nothing more than a "human resource" to be exploited in the interest of maintaining a healthy bottom line. Likewise, I've had myriad opportunities over the years to interact with my bosses by showing compassion and kindness, yet I have passed these up for reasons I do not fully understand.

I'm beginning to get the idea that my vision was clouded by the environment in which I found myself and by the choices I made about how to play in that sandbox. I played by their rules and, most of the time, I lost. My resume is long and eventful with many jobs where I've played a key role in developing and delivering major technological initiatives, yet I do not consider myself successful. I may have at one time, but I do not today. For me, success can only be measured by the constant, mindful awareness that comes from walking the true Middle Way Management™ path.

Moving Forward - and Up
In the interest of moving forward by discussing the positive attributes and behaviors that are developed through the practice of Middle Way Management, I'm not going to detail the bad boss behaviors I've experienced over the years. One thing I've come to realize is that my work experience is in no way unique. Rather than belabor the characteristics of a bad boss, I will assume that we've all had at least one. I would rather detail what it takes to transcend the negative and manage up with kindness, compassion, and empathy.

Managing up is not about manipulating your boss to get what you want. Rather, it's about standing in the psychological and emotional space of your boss so that you can better understand any type of assignment, good or bad. Thinking back to my posts on ego and self-definition, I submit that a "bad" task assignment is nothing more than one that bumps up against your ego and definition of your Self. For instance, if you have worked in a certain position for any length of time and you have put time and energy into defining yourself, at least partly, as that position, a request by your boss that appears menial is probably one that is knocking at your ego.

If this occurs, you should step back to examine why you are feeling this way. This is not easy to do and requires a kind of mindful awareness that can only come with the daily practice of Middle Way Management. Once you can take this step back, it is another very short step to put yourself in the space of your manager. When you accomplish this, you will learn more about your boss that will be helpful to both of you in the future.

If you consider your manager to be good, this will be relatively easy and you may even be able to approach her to ask about the "question behind the question," or what's really going on. If you consider your manager to be bad, this will require some effort on your part. Regardless of your feelings about your manager, you must understand that she will often have insight critical to her request of you, and she simply may not have the time, energy, or permission to relay this knowledge to you.

At the heart of this practice of empathy and sympathy is the goal of fulfilling your manager's request out of a caring and compassionate heart. Remember, one of your primary goals as a Middle Way Manager™ is to relieve suffering within your organization at all levels. This is an opportunity for you to practice true Middle Way Management. As you engage in these sorts of behaviors, you will notice your relationship with your manager change over time.

The relief of managerial suffering is the essence of managing up with Middle Way Management.

I hope you were somewhat surprised by my ideas about "managing up." Making an effort every day to manage up, down, and sideways with compassion, empathy, and mindful awareness is what Middle Way Management is all about.

In my next post, I will discuss Middle Way Management and the difficult team member. Hope to see you there!

Onward! Darin

Copyright © 2009, Darin R. Molnar, PhD. All rights reserved.