In my last post, I discussed how you can find your refuge, both real and imagined, and take sanctuary in it whenever appropriate, or necessary. In this post, I consider the role vulnerability plays in your daily Middle Way Management™ walk.
Vulnerability in an Egoistic World
In our egoistic world, vulnerability is largely viewed as a weakness. Why is this? I believe it's because vulnerability is the outcome of practicing a management approach that is open, honest, candid, and, yes, compassionate. The typical American-style manager perceives him/herself as "tough but fair." Usually, they are just tough. They have no room for vulnerability because their self-identity is so wrapped up in their job title that they are operating from a position of fear at all times. Fear of looking bad before those they manage, fear of looking bad to their boss(es), fear of being perceived as weak, fear of the unknown.
Ego and fear are the enemies of vulnerability.
I recently completed the first and second phases of the Middle Way Management Assessment Instrument™ (MWM-AI™) study. The first phase was completed with the help of a panel of leadership and management experts. This group helped me define and refine a list of behavioral, leadership, and management characteristics that exemplify the Middle Way Manager™. The second phase was the development of a survey instrument for field testing. As I created the instrument items, I became keenly aware of the importance of vulnerability to the practice of Middle Way Management. A few items from the survey are
My direct manager...
...shows compassion for others at all levels of the organization.
...is sympathetic when needed.
...is not dogmatic in his/her beliefs (i.e., does not always need to be right).
...works to build and promote the team over self.
...is accountable for his/her actions to organizational stakeholders.
While these may appear to be the characteristics of any good manager, they are not always evident in the behaviors of American-style managers. These characteristics require a level of vulnerability that sidelines ego in the interest of others and the organization, and we know that the ego is always on the playing field in American-style management doing its best to look good--if it's not, it's on deck warming up.
It's Okay to be Vulnerable
The message I want to leave you with in this post is that it's okay to be vulnerable. Vulnerability does not denote weakness, it denotes honesty, candor, compassion, and empathy. When you are patient and kind, you are vulnerable. When you manage with vision and courage, you are vulnerable. When you put the interests of your team members before your own, you are vulnerable. And this is okay.
As your Middle Way Management practice matures, you will find that the outcomes you realize from your efforts overcome any perceptions of weakness. Walk your talk and embrace your vulnerability with mindfulness and purposeful intent and you will realize results that surprise even your harshest critics.
In my next post, I will discuss Middle Way Management and the role vision plays in your daily practice. It is a moral imperative of the Middle Way Manager to provide a clear, concise, achievable vision for the team. Providing vision builds trust and supplies a set of common goals that create the sort of "buy-in" money simply cannot buy.
Onward! Darin
Copyright © 2009, Darin R. Molnar, PhD. All rights reserved.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Middle Way Management and Finding Your Refuge
In my last post, I discussed how viewing stress from the perspective of creative tension is a great way to enhance your Middle Way Management™ practice. By morphing stress into creative tension, you increase your ability to manage with compassion, empathy, patience, kindness, and sympathy, all necessary aspects of your Middle Way Management daily walk. In this post, I present ideas about how to find and then take refuge from a sometimes chaotic organizational environment.
Finding Your Refuge
Refuge in the context of Middle Way Management can be real or metaphorical. Either way, your refuge should be a place where you go to reconnect and sort things out. Of course, you can, and probably should, have more than one refuge space upon which you rely. Your refuge can be at your place of work or somewhere outside (e.g., walking path around the office building). Your refuge can be purely imaginary--a "happy place" you go to when things are spinning around you. As a Middle Way Manager™, you will seek real or metaphorical refuge depending on immediate circumstances.
For instance, it's probably not appropriate to excuse yourself to take a walk during an important meeting because you want to exit a negative situation and feel the sun on your face. It's also imperative that you remain "here, now." I've certainly let my mind wander to more pleasant scenes during a meeting or two over the years. Invariably, someone then asks me for my opinion on a matter to which I've paid virtually no attention. Because it's one of the primary responsibilities of the Middle Way Manager to be present at all times, you should guard against this and take refuge when and where appropriate.
Taking Refuge
In an earlier post, I recommended taking time out of your busy schedule to engage in reflective thought. Hopefully, you are able to accomplish this in your own office with some privacy or in a room set aside by the organization for rest and relaxation. This is a case of real refuge, one that you can count on (remember to schedule out the time as a meeting) to recharge and rejuvenate, especially if your day has been hectic. I know that I eagerly anticipate my self-sanctioned "timeouts" as a way to collect my thoughts and plan for future events.
Other forms of real refuge can be spending quality time with sympathetic colleagues during work hours or after work. You can schedule lunches with friends or family and even skip lunch altogether in the interest of simply getting away from the workplace for a little while. I once read an article by a guy who espoused using a toilet stall as a form of refuge to take a quick nap. While I don't think lurking in the restroom is a great idea, I do believe his point that a place of refuge should include some solitary time to recharge your managerial batteries is a good one.
On the metaphorical, or imaginary, side, refuge can simply be a way to calm your mind, even briefly. In an earlier post, I suggested reflective thought and breathing exercises as ways to settle your busy mind. Bringing yourself into awareness through concentration on your breathing is a great way to keep yourself in the present and focus your energies. In fact, breathing in awareness may be the best approach because it helps you focus intently on the present, preventing the wandering of mind that is so easy to slip into when refocusing.
The Purpose of Refuge
The purpose of taking refuge is to help you calm yourself in the midst of the storm. As an active manager in an American-style organization, you will typically reside in the eye of that storm when you take refuge. Remember, though, that the storm is always moving. Eventually, it will wash over you once again and you will be right back in the thick of things. By calming yourself in the midst of the storm, you allow yourself to re-energize your daily Middle Way Management practice. Only when you are calm and composed will you be able to manage with compassion, empathy, sympathy, understanding, and kindness.
In my next post, I will consider how practicing Middle Way Management requires you to be vulnerable in the face of egoistic and aggressive forces that are part and parcel of American-style organizational management. Only by acknowledging and embracing our vulnerability can we practice the level of compassion necessary to relieve suffering at all levels of the organization.
Copyright © 2009, Darin R. Molnar, PhD. All rights reserved.
Finding Your Refuge
Refuge in the context of Middle Way Management can be real or metaphorical. Either way, your refuge should be a place where you go to reconnect and sort things out. Of course, you can, and probably should, have more than one refuge space upon which you rely. Your refuge can be at your place of work or somewhere outside (e.g., walking path around the office building). Your refuge can be purely imaginary--a "happy place" you go to when things are spinning around you. As a Middle Way Manager™, you will seek real or metaphorical refuge depending on immediate circumstances.
For instance, it's probably not appropriate to excuse yourself to take a walk during an important meeting because you want to exit a negative situation and feel the sun on your face. It's also imperative that you remain "here, now." I've certainly let my mind wander to more pleasant scenes during a meeting or two over the years. Invariably, someone then asks me for my opinion on a matter to which I've paid virtually no attention. Because it's one of the primary responsibilities of the Middle Way Manager to be present at all times, you should guard against this and take refuge when and where appropriate.
Taking Refuge
In an earlier post, I recommended taking time out of your busy schedule to engage in reflective thought. Hopefully, you are able to accomplish this in your own office with some privacy or in a room set aside by the organization for rest and relaxation. This is a case of real refuge, one that you can count on (remember to schedule out the time as a meeting) to recharge and rejuvenate, especially if your day has been hectic. I know that I eagerly anticipate my self-sanctioned "timeouts" as a way to collect my thoughts and plan for future events.
Other forms of real refuge can be spending quality time with sympathetic colleagues during work hours or after work. You can schedule lunches with friends or family and even skip lunch altogether in the interest of simply getting away from the workplace for a little while. I once read an article by a guy who espoused using a toilet stall as a form of refuge to take a quick nap. While I don't think lurking in the restroom is a great idea, I do believe his point that a place of refuge should include some solitary time to recharge your managerial batteries is a good one.
On the metaphorical, or imaginary, side, refuge can simply be a way to calm your mind, even briefly. In an earlier post, I suggested reflective thought and breathing exercises as ways to settle your busy mind. Bringing yourself into awareness through concentration on your breathing is a great way to keep yourself in the present and focus your energies. In fact, breathing in awareness may be the best approach because it helps you focus intently on the present, preventing the wandering of mind that is so easy to slip into when refocusing.
The Purpose of Refuge
The purpose of taking refuge is to help you calm yourself in the midst of the storm. As an active manager in an American-style organization, you will typically reside in the eye of that storm when you take refuge. Remember, though, that the storm is always moving. Eventually, it will wash over you once again and you will be right back in the thick of things. By calming yourself in the midst of the storm, you allow yourself to re-energize your daily Middle Way Management practice. Only when you are calm and composed will you be able to manage with compassion, empathy, sympathy, understanding, and kindness.
In my next post, I will consider how practicing Middle Way Management requires you to be vulnerable in the face of egoistic and aggressive forces that are part and parcel of American-style organizational management. Only by acknowledging and embracing our vulnerability can we practice the level of compassion necessary to relieve suffering at all levels of the organization.
Copyright © 2009, Darin R. Molnar, PhD. All rights reserved.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Middle Way Management, Stress, and Creative Tension
In my last post, I discussed how values are really at the foundation of everything you do as a Middle Way Manager™. Values color your perceptions and create biases - both positive and negative - that you use in your daily Middle Way Management™ walk. Recognizing and appreciating the values of your team members will also help you understand them better. This way, you can practice compassion, empathy, kindness, and understanding in natural, authentic ways. In this post, I will consider how you can turn a stressful situation into one where creative tension ushers you point-to-point without damaging relationships or compromising your values.
Good Stress, Bad Stress
While we've all experienced stress of some form, especially as managers, psychologists tell us that not all stress is bad. Yet, terms like "stress management" have created a buzz around stress that tells us it's something to be eradicated for the good of all. But is this really the case? Stress is indicated in our bodies in several ways. We breathe differently, we move differently, we even think differently under duress, all of which have been necessary survival tactics during our long evolution into Homo sapiens postmodernensis. What I'm suggesting here is that fight-or-flight is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, it can be quite good.
We've all been in a situation in which flight seemed like a logical response to the energies at hand. I certainly know I have. During these times, my mind goes on a short hiatus and I'm left looking for the nearest exit. Now, this can be as immediate as potential direct harm to your person or a feeling that you need to "get out of here." And "getting out of here" can involve a quick retreat from an organizational situation or even the organization itself. Regardless, the thing to take away from these experiences is what your mind did and where it went while you were under stress.
Systems Science to the Rescue
In his book, The Fifth Discipline, Senge (2006) presents the idea of creative tension. He suggests the reader visualize a rubber band looped over the backs of both hands while pulling them apart. On, say, the left hand is your current position while the right is the place you want to eventually reach. He recommends decreasing the amount of tension between the two in creative ways so you reach your goal over time with less, well, stress. Like Senge, I consider the tension between current place and goal position to be the domain of stress.
Viewing stress this way changes it from something negative to something that offers Middle Way Managers myriad opportunities to inject creative energy into organizational pursuits. Whenever you begin to feel the telltale signs of stress, you are offered a chance to raise your awareness to respond in more positive ways to the issue(s) at hand. This consciously mindful approach lies at the heart of Middle Way Management and you should be grateful for every stressor that allows you to walk your Middle Way Management talk.
One way to do this is to categorize your potential stressors and concentrate upon a single category until you've mastered it. For instance, if you manage a large group of people, a category of focus might be "people issues" for a week. Every time someone brings you something that requires your attention (remember, stress is created by "good" and "bad" scenarios), you can raise your awareness to recognize the inherent stressor and why you feel the way you do. Once you recognize this, it's a short trip to turn the stress into creative , goal-directed tension. Will this instantly solve any problems you must address? Probably not always, yet it will expand your perspective into a solution space, rather than a problem space.
Why Does This Matter?
While this topic might seem tangential to your Middle Way Management practice, handling stress, both "good" and "bad," typically requires a new perspective. Morphing stress into creative tension matters here because the promotion of positive energy in your daily Middle Way Management walk is a fundamental aspect of managing with compassion while practicing empathy, patience, sympathy, and kindness. Each of these helps you achieve your primary goal as an active, mindful Middle Way Manager: the relief of suffering at all levels of the organization.
In my next post, I will consider Middle Way Management and finding your refuge. This is necessary in a hectic, sometimes chaotic, work environment. By taking refuge, you rejuvenate and re-energize yourself, which is good for you, for your team members, and for the organization at large.
Senge, P. M. (2006). The fifth discipline: The art and practice of the learning organization. New York: Broadway Business.
Copyright © 2009, Darin R. Molnar, PhD. All rights reserved.
Good Stress, Bad Stress
While we've all experienced stress of some form, especially as managers, psychologists tell us that not all stress is bad. Yet, terms like "stress management" have created a buzz around stress that tells us it's something to be eradicated for the good of all. But is this really the case? Stress is indicated in our bodies in several ways. We breathe differently, we move differently, we even think differently under duress, all of which have been necessary survival tactics during our long evolution into Homo sapiens postmodernensis. What I'm suggesting here is that fight-or-flight is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, it can be quite good.
We've all been in a situation in which flight seemed like a logical response to the energies at hand. I certainly know I have. During these times, my mind goes on a short hiatus and I'm left looking for the nearest exit. Now, this can be as immediate as potential direct harm to your person or a feeling that you need to "get out of here." And "getting out of here" can involve a quick retreat from an organizational situation or even the organization itself. Regardless, the thing to take away from these experiences is what your mind did and where it went while you were under stress.
Systems Science to the Rescue
In his book, The Fifth Discipline, Senge (2006) presents the idea of creative tension. He suggests the reader visualize a rubber band looped over the backs of both hands while pulling them apart. On, say, the left hand is your current position while the right is the place you want to eventually reach. He recommends decreasing the amount of tension between the two in creative ways so you reach your goal over time with less, well, stress. Like Senge, I consider the tension between current place and goal position to be the domain of stress.
Viewing stress this way changes it from something negative to something that offers Middle Way Managers myriad opportunities to inject creative energy into organizational pursuits. Whenever you begin to feel the telltale signs of stress, you are offered a chance to raise your awareness to respond in more positive ways to the issue(s) at hand. This consciously mindful approach lies at the heart of Middle Way Management and you should be grateful for every stressor that allows you to walk your Middle Way Management talk.
One way to do this is to categorize your potential stressors and concentrate upon a single category until you've mastered it. For instance, if you manage a large group of people, a category of focus might be "people issues" for a week. Every time someone brings you something that requires your attention (remember, stress is created by "good" and "bad" scenarios), you can raise your awareness to recognize the inherent stressor and why you feel the way you do. Once you recognize this, it's a short trip to turn the stress into creative , goal-directed tension. Will this instantly solve any problems you must address? Probably not always, yet it will expand your perspective into a solution space, rather than a problem space.
Why Does This Matter?
While this topic might seem tangential to your Middle Way Management practice, handling stress, both "good" and "bad," typically requires a new perspective. Morphing stress into creative tension matters here because the promotion of positive energy in your daily Middle Way Management walk is a fundamental aspect of managing with compassion while practicing empathy, patience, sympathy, and kindness. Each of these helps you achieve your primary goal as an active, mindful Middle Way Manager: the relief of suffering at all levels of the organization.
In my next post, I will consider Middle Way Management and finding your refuge. This is necessary in a hectic, sometimes chaotic, work environment. By taking refuge, you rejuvenate and re-energize yourself, which is good for you, for your team members, and for the organization at large.
Reference
Senge, P. M. (2006). The fifth discipline: The art and practice of the learning organization. New York: Broadway Business.
Copyright © 2009, Darin R. Molnar, PhD. All rights reserved.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Middle Way Management and Values
In my last post, I presented the "Magic Mirror"--the one in which we see ourselves reflected when we form opinions about others. While it applies to many interactions you have with organizational members during the course of practicing Middle Way Management™, it certainly does not generalize to all of them. More than anything, my purpose here is to raise topics that spur additional discussion, which the Magic Mirror post most definitely accomplished. In this post, I will discuss the role your values play in your daily Middle Way Management practice.
What Do You Value?
As a practicing Middle Way Manager™, you have already demonstrated that you value people and how they are treated in an organizational context. You value yourself or you wouldn't assume you have anything to offer the organization or the people and resources under your watch. You value the organization for which you spend your invaluable time and energy and, of course, you value all of the things in your personal life that make life worth living.
Yet, aren't values something more than simply those "things" you value in your life (imagined or real)? Like culture, values are reified objects - intellectual constructs we use throughout our day to measure and weigh every situation that arises. Values are deeply ingrained and can be quite difficult to articulate, until they are threatened. Values change over time, morphing into something that can pop up to surprise us when we least expect it. In the end, we cannot escape our values; they inform and color everything we see, hear, and do--they are at the foundation of everything.
Generating Values
A few months ago, I worked with a colleague to create the "ValuesGenerator". This Web-based application is a sorting exercise in which participants decide which values listed on virtual cards (e.g., family, honesty, integrity, etc.) to put in the "keeper" pile and which to discard. By the end of the exercise, participants are left with their top six choices--six values that rise above all others. For many, this provides a moment of surprise and clarity. For others, it just reinforces what they already know about themselves.
One feedback remark we received is that values definitions have different meanings for different people. For instance, "family" can mean one thing to a heterosexual male with no kids and entirely another to a lesbian with two children in her household. In an American-style organizational context, "candor" can be situational while in a religious organization it might be expected under any and all circumstances. Clearly, values are nuanced in ways that can make agreement upon their definitions problematic at best.
An Opportunity for Dialogue
While I understand that agreement upon values definitions can be problematic, I do not consider this a problem, especially for the Middle Way Manager. Whenever complete agreement is not reached on any topic, it is not a stopping point; rather, it's a beginning from which understanding can be created.
The ValuesGenerator is a way for organizational members to make explicit their values and then engage in respectful dialogue that works to bring organizational members closer together in unforeseen ways. As understanding is reached between people, they see that compassion and empathy, sympathy and understanding are more easily realized. They see that walking the Middle Way Management path is easier when the values that lead to motivations which result in behaviors are brought to the surface.
Judge Not, Lest Ye Be Judged
As a Middle Way Manager, you must seriously consider the role judgment plays in your daily walk. Like every other aspect of your Middle Way Management practice, values will lie at the heart of how you interact with others and what judgments you make about their behaviors. Judgment is a tricky thing, especially if you have not made the necessary effort to fully understand the values of your team members. Remember, one of your primary Middle Way Management objectives is the relief of suffering across all levels of the organization.
Personal values incongruence or conflict can create significant individual suffering, which you will see manifested as depressive, unproductive, or difficult team member behaviors. This is when your sensitivity about judgment and understanding the values of others will become an important part of your daily practice. How you negotiate such relationships under these circumstances will determine how effectively you walk your Middle Way Management talk.
In my next post, I will discuss Middle Way Management, stress, and creative tension. The Middle Way Manager works to move stress into a creative space where options are plentiful and solutions abound.
Until then...
Onward! Darin
Copyright © 2009, Darin R. Molnar, PhD. All rights reserved.
What Do You Value?
As a practicing Middle Way Manager™, you have already demonstrated that you value people and how they are treated in an organizational context. You value yourself or you wouldn't assume you have anything to offer the organization or the people and resources under your watch. You value the organization for which you spend your invaluable time and energy and, of course, you value all of the things in your personal life that make life worth living.
Yet, aren't values something more than simply those "things" you value in your life (imagined or real)? Like culture, values are reified objects - intellectual constructs we use throughout our day to measure and weigh every situation that arises. Values are deeply ingrained and can be quite difficult to articulate, until they are threatened. Values change over time, morphing into something that can pop up to surprise us when we least expect it. In the end, we cannot escape our values; they inform and color everything we see, hear, and do--they are at the foundation of everything.
Generating Values
A few months ago, I worked with a colleague to create the "ValuesGenerator". This Web-based application is a sorting exercise in which participants decide which values listed on virtual cards (e.g., family, honesty, integrity, etc.) to put in the "keeper" pile and which to discard. By the end of the exercise, participants are left with their top six choices--six values that rise above all others. For many, this provides a moment of surprise and clarity. For others, it just reinforces what they already know about themselves.
One feedback remark we received is that values definitions have different meanings for different people. For instance, "family" can mean one thing to a heterosexual male with no kids and entirely another to a lesbian with two children in her household. In an American-style organizational context, "candor" can be situational while in a religious organization it might be expected under any and all circumstances. Clearly, values are nuanced in ways that can make agreement upon their definitions problematic at best.
An Opportunity for Dialogue
While I understand that agreement upon values definitions can be problematic, I do not consider this a problem, especially for the Middle Way Manager. Whenever complete agreement is not reached on any topic, it is not a stopping point; rather, it's a beginning from which understanding can be created.
The ValuesGenerator is a way for organizational members to make explicit their values and then engage in respectful dialogue that works to bring organizational members closer together in unforeseen ways. As understanding is reached between people, they see that compassion and empathy, sympathy and understanding are more easily realized. They see that walking the Middle Way Management path is easier when the values that lead to motivations which result in behaviors are brought to the surface.
Judge Not, Lest Ye Be Judged
As a Middle Way Manager, you must seriously consider the role judgment plays in your daily walk. Like every other aspect of your Middle Way Management practice, values will lie at the heart of how you interact with others and what judgments you make about their behaviors. Judgment is a tricky thing, especially if you have not made the necessary effort to fully understand the values of your team members. Remember, one of your primary Middle Way Management objectives is the relief of suffering across all levels of the organization.
Personal values incongruence or conflict can create significant individual suffering, which you will see manifested as depressive, unproductive, or difficult team member behaviors. This is when your sensitivity about judgment and understanding the values of others will become an important part of your daily practice. How you negotiate such relationships under these circumstances will determine how effectively you walk your Middle Way Management talk.
In my next post, I will discuss Middle Way Management, stress, and creative tension. The Middle Way Manager works to move stress into a creative space where options are plentiful and solutions abound.
Until then...
Onward! Darin
Copyright © 2009, Darin R. Molnar, PhD. All rights reserved.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Middle Way Management and the Magic Mirror
In my last post, I considered Middle Way Management™, creativity, and innovation. The discussion was centered on how you are able as a Middle Way Manager™ to relieve team member suffering by fostering creativity and encouraging innovation, even when the organizational environment doesn't necessarily promote expansive innovation. In the end, creativity and innovation are where you find them. In this post, I present the "Magic Mirror"--the one in which we see ourselves reflected when we form opinions about others.
I Hate When He Does That!
Have you ever found yourself being irritated by a team member's behaviors and you're not really sure why? Whenever this happens, an interesting phenomenon that I like to call the "Magic Mirror" is at play. In short, you are seeing in others that which you detest in yourself. Well, detest may be too strong a word, yet it can be accurate depending on your level of irritation. You are agitated in this way because you know at the subconscious level that your judgments about the team member's behaviors are a reflection of how you feel about yourself when you are at your most unflattering.
The Magic Mirror is a wonderful thing because it allows us to catch ourselves in the act of judging someone else. This is the key to mindful awareness. When you find that you are catching yourself more and more, it means your Middle Way Management sensibilities are becoming finely tuned and energized. This is a good thing. What may not be so good is the fact that when you catch yourself in this way, you have already spent valuable time and energy thinking about someone else's behaviors, behaviors you largely cannot control, in negative and non-productive ways.
Mirror, Mirror On the Wall...
The Magic Mirror is a valuable tool you can use any time during your Middle Way Management practice. I actively use this tool on a daily basis. I'm currently working a contract on which a person I regularly find extremely irritating also works. Yet, is he really that irritating? Other team members seem to enjoy his company. I mostly do not. I recently caught myself judging his behaviors and realized I was most annoyed with his "steamroller" behavior, which I interpreted as downright rude. He talks a lot and rarely listens. Very irritating. Aha! Perhaps this is something I recognize in myself that I diligently work to manage on a daily basis. Perhaps I feel, deep down, that I've not yet mastered this trait in myself. Hmm...
My way of interacting with this person has been to make a conscious effort at practicing patience, compassion, and empathy. One thing that he has stated repeatedly is that he is new in the role he has assumed within our team (project manager). His job is a tough one and I truly believe he is suffering on several levels. His antidote to relieve his own suffering is to do "something, anything" and to do it loudly. While this may not be the most effective approach, I must recognize that he is doing what he can (without using Middle Way Management principles) to choke down his own fear and panic on a minute-by-minute basis. I must honor the fact that he has not given up and is trying to do the best job he can under the circumstances.
It's a Constant, Evolving Process
Do I always act with compassion and empathy toward my fellow team member? I certainly do not. Middle Way Management is a practice and, hence, a process that does not present a clear terminal point where I can say with confidence, "Okay, I've achieved the status of Middle Way Manager--what's next?" I am always becoming a Middle Way Manager and it's in this becoming that I must find ways to practice the principles to the best of my limited abilities. I must remain mindfully aware that whenever irritation or agitation arise in me, I am seeing what I judge to be a bit of myself in others and my ego is somehow involved in the transaction. What is it about these behaviors that causes me so much suffering?
At the root of the Magic Mirror lies a bruised or insulted ego. As I observe the behaviors of the person I described above and become irritated, it is because my ego has been hurt by what I perceive to be his basic lack of decency (an unfair judgment about him). Really, it's not about him, it's about me in two ways: 1) I see someone behaving in ways that I've recognized in myself and tried diligently to change - how can he not do the same? and 2) When he does steamroll me, it hurts because my ego feels undervalued and "stepped on."
This gets back to my earlier post on Middle Way Management and the Self. The ego wants to remain vital and important at all costs. If I choose to let my colleague's behaviors slide with an understanding and compassionate response, the ego loses power. And that's not in the game plan of the ego. No, the ego wants me to judge and be reactive, even in negative ways. The ego doesn't care what kind of attention is drawn to me because any attention is good attention. As a Middle Way Manager, I must reject this approach to attention and conduct myself with all the humility and grace my colleague deserves.
It's Not Easy
Is all of this easy to accomplish? Like most Middle Way Management characteristics, it is not. All I can do is my best on a daily, hourly, even minute-by-minute basis to make myself a better Middle Way Manager, a better team member, and a better person. In doing this, I've helped relieve my colleague's suffering and I've relieved suffering at the organizational level because I've had a hand in creating a positive Ripple Effect that is sure to radiate out into the organization and the world at large.
Next time you catch yourself being irritated with someone, stop and question why it is happening. Then, congratulate yourself for practicing the kind of mindful awareness that is the foundation of your Middle Way Management practice. Heck, if you want, you can even say to yourself, "Today, I am a Middle Way Manager!"
In my next post, I will consider the crucial role your values play in your daily walk down the Middle Way Management path.
Until then...
Onward! Darin
MWM Practice Point, 7/22/2009:
As an addendum to this post, I thought I'd follow up on how I applied this topic in the workplace today. The person I mentioned above showed up characteristically 15 minutes late and interrupted me mid-sentence, talking loudly about something completely unrelated to what I was explaining to the group. My response was to stop talking and wait patiently for the conversation to return to my topic. It never did - and that was okay.
During the course of the meeting, I took the effort to ask clarifying questions of this person. I find that these sorts of questions - non-confrontational, seeking information only - are the best way to honor what the person is saying by showing interest and seeking clarity with the intent of precise communication. This also helps me to understand the real point and motivation behind what someone is saying. In the case today, this tactic settled things down and brought out fine points and details that might otherwise have remained hidden.
Toward the end of the meeting, he stated that "someone here has a trust issue and feels he needs to do everything himself." Well, this person was me. I work in a highly technical position and my technical co-worker on this contract has gone out to have a little monkey. Unfortunately, I am the only person who has the expertise in the group at this time to handle the extraordinary technical demands of the project. So, rather than take it personally and let ego take over the interaction, I simply asked for clarification by saying, "What are you perceiving in my behavior that you interpret as a lack of trust?" In every instance he mentioned, I was able to ask, "Who in this group has the technical expertise to help me out? I WANT help, I NEED help!" It became clear that my non-trust was actually a non-issue. Concern resolved.
In the end, I found myself being thankful for having had the opportunity to practice what I preach today. Walking the Middle Way Management talk is the only way to go!
DRM
Copyright © 2009, Darin R. Molnar, PhD. All rights reserved.
I Hate When He Does That!
Have you ever found yourself being irritated by a team member's behaviors and you're not really sure why? Whenever this happens, an interesting phenomenon that I like to call the "Magic Mirror" is at play. In short, you are seeing in others that which you detest in yourself. Well, detest may be too strong a word, yet it can be accurate depending on your level of irritation. You are agitated in this way because you know at the subconscious level that your judgments about the team member's behaviors are a reflection of how you feel about yourself when you are at your most unflattering.
The Magic Mirror is a wonderful thing because it allows us to catch ourselves in the act of judging someone else. This is the key to mindful awareness. When you find that you are catching yourself more and more, it means your Middle Way Management sensibilities are becoming finely tuned and energized. This is a good thing. What may not be so good is the fact that when you catch yourself in this way, you have already spent valuable time and energy thinking about someone else's behaviors, behaviors you largely cannot control, in negative and non-productive ways.
Mirror, Mirror On the Wall...
The Magic Mirror is a valuable tool you can use any time during your Middle Way Management practice. I actively use this tool on a daily basis. I'm currently working a contract on which a person I regularly find extremely irritating also works. Yet, is he really that irritating? Other team members seem to enjoy his company. I mostly do not. I recently caught myself judging his behaviors and realized I was most annoyed with his "steamroller" behavior, which I interpreted as downright rude. He talks a lot and rarely listens. Very irritating. Aha! Perhaps this is something I recognize in myself that I diligently work to manage on a daily basis. Perhaps I feel, deep down, that I've not yet mastered this trait in myself. Hmm...
My way of interacting with this person has been to make a conscious effort at practicing patience, compassion, and empathy. One thing that he has stated repeatedly is that he is new in the role he has assumed within our team (project manager). His job is a tough one and I truly believe he is suffering on several levels. His antidote to relieve his own suffering is to do "something, anything" and to do it loudly. While this may not be the most effective approach, I must recognize that he is doing what he can (without using Middle Way Management principles) to choke down his own fear and panic on a minute-by-minute basis. I must honor the fact that he has not given up and is trying to do the best job he can under the circumstances.
It's a Constant, Evolving Process
Do I always act with compassion and empathy toward my fellow team member? I certainly do not. Middle Way Management is a practice and, hence, a process that does not present a clear terminal point where I can say with confidence, "Okay, I've achieved the status of Middle Way Manager--what's next?" I am always becoming a Middle Way Manager and it's in this becoming that I must find ways to practice the principles to the best of my limited abilities. I must remain mindfully aware that whenever irritation or agitation arise in me, I am seeing what I judge to be a bit of myself in others and my ego is somehow involved in the transaction. What is it about these behaviors that causes me so much suffering?
At the root of the Magic Mirror lies a bruised or insulted ego. As I observe the behaviors of the person I described above and become irritated, it is because my ego has been hurt by what I perceive to be his basic lack of decency (an unfair judgment about him). Really, it's not about him, it's about me in two ways: 1) I see someone behaving in ways that I've recognized in myself and tried diligently to change - how can he not do the same? and 2) When he does steamroll me, it hurts because my ego feels undervalued and "stepped on."
This gets back to my earlier post on Middle Way Management and the Self. The ego wants to remain vital and important at all costs. If I choose to let my colleague's behaviors slide with an understanding and compassionate response, the ego loses power. And that's not in the game plan of the ego. No, the ego wants me to judge and be reactive, even in negative ways. The ego doesn't care what kind of attention is drawn to me because any attention is good attention. As a Middle Way Manager, I must reject this approach to attention and conduct myself with all the humility and grace my colleague deserves.
It's Not Easy
Is all of this easy to accomplish? Like most Middle Way Management characteristics, it is not. All I can do is my best on a daily, hourly, even minute-by-minute basis to make myself a better Middle Way Manager, a better team member, and a better person. In doing this, I've helped relieve my colleague's suffering and I've relieved suffering at the organizational level because I've had a hand in creating a positive Ripple Effect that is sure to radiate out into the organization and the world at large.
Next time you catch yourself being irritated with someone, stop and question why it is happening. Then, congratulate yourself for practicing the kind of mindful awareness that is the foundation of your Middle Way Management practice. Heck, if you want, you can even say to yourself, "Today, I am a Middle Way Manager!"
In my next post, I will consider the crucial role your values play in your daily walk down the Middle Way Management path.
Until then...
Onward! Darin
MWM Practice Point, 7/22/2009:
As an addendum to this post, I thought I'd follow up on how I applied this topic in the workplace today. The person I mentioned above showed up characteristically 15 minutes late and interrupted me mid-sentence, talking loudly about something completely unrelated to what I was explaining to the group. My response was to stop talking and wait patiently for the conversation to return to my topic. It never did - and that was okay.
During the course of the meeting, I took the effort to ask clarifying questions of this person. I find that these sorts of questions - non-confrontational, seeking information only - are the best way to honor what the person is saying by showing interest and seeking clarity with the intent of precise communication. This also helps me to understand the real point and motivation behind what someone is saying. In the case today, this tactic settled things down and brought out fine points and details that might otherwise have remained hidden.
Toward the end of the meeting, he stated that "someone here has a trust issue and feels he needs to do everything himself." Well, this person was me. I work in a highly technical position and my technical co-worker on this contract has gone out to have a little monkey. Unfortunately, I am the only person who has the expertise in the group at this time to handle the extraordinary technical demands of the project. So, rather than take it personally and let ego take over the interaction, I simply asked for clarification by saying, "What are you perceiving in my behavior that you interpret as a lack of trust?" In every instance he mentioned, I was able to ask, "Who in this group has the technical expertise to help me out? I WANT help, I NEED help!" It became clear that my non-trust was actually a non-issue. Concern resolved.
In the end, I found myself being thankful for having had the opportunity to practice what I preach today. Walking the Middle Way Management talk is the only way to go!
DRM
Copyright © 2009, Darin R. Molnar, PhD. All rights reserved.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Middle Way Management, Creativity and Innovation
In my last post, I considered Middle Way Management™ and active decision making. Not only is this an expectation of managers in American-style organizations, it's the starting point of the moral imperative at the heart of creating the vision so necessary for developing motivation and promoting teamwork. In this post, I will be looking at how creativity and innovation are crucial aspects of your Middle Way Management practice.
All Organizations Great and Small, the Lord God Made Them All
I've held management positions in organizations of all sizes. While my experiences working for small, entrepreneurial organizations have been, um, interesting, they were at least dynamic and innovative, which required me to be creative in my approach. It has been my observation that the larger the organization, the more conservative the approach--to everything. From fiscal policies to marketing efforts, IT strategies to sales tactics, larger organizations move slower and take vastly more time to accomplish just about everything.
I once worked for a large organization that experienced several critical database failures during one of the busiest (i.e., revenue producing) business cycles of the year. These failures were putting the entire organization at risk. My team quickly came up with three solutions that would solve the problem and move the organization forward. Until my peer managers began calling meeting after meeting after meeting after meeting to "address the issue."
While I believe collaboration and inclusion are fundamental aspects of Middle Way Management, we were holding meetings to discuss when the next meetings would be held. The result? After three days of nearly catastrophic failures, thirty-nine, that's right - thirty-nine (39) - options for solving the problem were proposed. In the end, we implemented the original three proposed by my team, thereby preventing the organization from refunding $10 million in booked revenue.
My point here is that some organizational members (typically managers) often confuse doing "something, anything" with creativity and/or innovation. Being busy does not mean you are being productive, it just means you're busy. Both creativity and innovation come with preparation, reflective thought, patience, and vision, hallmarks one and all of the true Middle Way Manager™.
Creativity is Risky, Innovation Expensive
I say that creativity is risky because it takes special effort, effort that is not always completely aligned with standard organizational processes and procedures, to develop and exercise solutions "outside the box." Most American-style organizations are risk-averse and would prefer cash to flow in the general direction of stockholders (not necessarily stakeholders), rather than into innovative programs and projects. Of course, without creativity, innovation is simply not possible.
Many organizations prefer to acquire innovation that has already been proven, thereby absorbing creativity with less risk and innovating without the enormous cost of development, test marketing, and hopeful rollout. Yet, this approach is not without its own set of risks, including product or service stagnation and eventual (inevitable?) market share decline. The decision to encourage creativity and innovation is mostly determined by the organization's culture and its collective attitude toward both. If innovation through acquisition is the preferred method, then the Middle Way Manager will find ways to foster creativity and encourage innovation at a smaller scale within, for instance, project boundaries.
Fostering Creativity, Encouraging Innovation
The Middle Way Manager knows that people are at their best when they are working creatively to innovate. This can be something as small as the refinement of a particular business process or as large as the specification of a new product or service. When people are allowed the freedom to be creative and are encouraged to innovate, they develop a sense of accomplishment that keeps them excited about the vision you have created. This develops the holy grail of team member "buy-in," which, of course, is something that can't be bought--at any price. This sort of commitment alleviates suffering among your team members because they become emotionally involved and link their personal progress with the organization's.
As a practicing Middle Way Manager, you know by now that supplying vision for your team is not only a management obligation, it's a moral imperative. And vision requires creativity, even if your organization is conservative in its approach to innovation. Exercising creativity will help you tailor your vision to the organization's goals and objectives while presenting scenarios that excite and motivate your team.
I once managed a team of programmers tasked with creating a Web-based wizard that was the front-end of a new product. I knew my team and I knew my organization, so I set the challenge before the team and let them work through the specification process without my initial involvement. In the end, they came up with some great ideas that later became the foundation of the wizard for a suite of online products that produced solid revenues for the company. They were allowed to exercise their creative muscles and they introduced an innovative product that was their "baby". It was a win-win-win all the way around.
I've just scratched the surface here regarding Middle Way Management, creativity and innovation. The most important lesson in all of this is how you are able as a Middle Way Manager to relieve team member suffering by fostering creativity and encouraging innovation, even when the organizational environment doesn't necessarily promote expansive innovation. In the end, creativity and innovation are where you find them. Fortunately, your Middle Way Management practice will help you find them just about everywhere.
In my next post, I will consider Middle Way Management and the "Magic Mirror". How we see others is often a reflection of how we see ourselves.
Until then...
Onward! Darin
Copyright © 2009, Darin R. Molnar, PhD. All rights reserved.
All Organizations Great and Small, the Lord God Made Them All
I've held management positions in organizations of all sizes. While my experiences working for small, entrepreneurial organizations have been, um, interesting, they were at least dynamic and innovative, which required me to be creative in my approach. It has been my observation that the larger the organization, the more conservative the approach--to everything. From fiscal policies to marketing efforts, IT strategies to sales tactics, larger organizations move slower and take vastly more time to accomplish just about everything.
I once worked for a large organization that experienced several critical database failures during one of the busiest (i.e., revenue producing) business cycles of the year. These failures were putting the entire organization at risk. My team quickly came up with three solutions that would solve the problem and move the organization forward. Until my peer managers began calling meeting after meeting after meeting after meeting to "address the issue."
While I believe collaboration and inclusion are fundamental aspects of Middle Way Management, we were holding meetings to discuss when the next meetings would be held. The result? After three days of nearly catastrophic failures, thirty-nine, that's right - thirty-nine (39) - options for solving the problem were proposed. In the end, we implemented the original three proposed by my team, thereby preventing the organization from refunding $10 million in booked revenue.
My point here is that some organizational members (typically managers) often confuse doing "something, anything" with creativity and/or innovation. Being busy does not mean you are being productive, it just means you're busy. Both creativity and innovation come with preparation, reflective thought, patience, and vision, hallmarks one and all of the true Middle Way Manager™.
Creativity is Risky, Innovation Expensive
I say that creativity is risky because it takes special effort, effort that is not always completely aligned with standard organizational processes and procedures, to develop and exercise solutions "outside the box." Most American-style organizations are risk-averse and would prefer cash to flow in the general direction of stockholders (not necessarily stakeholders), rather than into innovative programs and projects. Of course, without creativity, innovation is simply not possible.
Many organizations prefer to acquire innovation that has already been proven, thereby absorbing creativity with less risk and innovating without the enormous cost of development, test marketing, and hopeful rollout. Yet, this approach is not without its own set of risks, including product or service stagnation and eventual (inevitable?) market share decline. The decision to encourage creativity and innovation is mostly determined by the organization's culture and its collective attitude toward both. If innovation through acquisition is the preferred method, then the Middle Way Manager will find ways to foster creativity and encourage innovation at a smaller scale within, for instance, project boundaries.
Fostering Creativity, Encouraging Innovation
The Middle Way Manager knows that people are at their best when they are working creatively to innovate. This can be something as small as the refinement of a particular business process or as large as the specification of a new product or service. When people are allowed the freedom to be creative and are encouraged to innovate, they develop a sense of accomplishment that keeps them excited about the vision you have created. This develops the holy grail of team member "buy-in," which, of course, is something that can't be bought--at any price. This sort of commitment alleviates suffering among your team members because they become emotionally involved and link their personal progress with the organization's.
As a practicing Middle Way Manager, you know by now that supplying vision for your team is not only a management obligation, it's a moral imperative. And vision requires creativity, even if your organization is conservative in its approach to innovation. Exercising creativity will help you tailor your vision to the organization's goals and objectives while presenting scenarios that excite and motivate your team.
I once managed a team of programmers tasked with creating a Web-based wizard that was the front-end of a new product. I knew my team and I knew my organization, so I set the challenge before the team and let them work through the specification process without my initial involvement. In the end, they came up with some great ideas that later became the foundation of the wizard for a suite of online products that produced solid revenues for the company. They were allowed to exercise their creative muscles and they introduced an innovative product that was their "baby". It was a win-win-win all the way around.
I've just scratched the surface here regarding Middle Way Management, creativity and innovation. The most important lesson in all of this is how you are able as a Middle Way Manager to relieve team member suffering by fostering creativity and encouraging innovation, even when the organizational environment doesn't necessarily promote expansive innovation. In the end, creativity and innovation are where you find them. Fortunately, your Middle Way Management practice will help you find them just about everywhere.
In my next post, I will consider Middle Way Management and the "Magic Mirror". How we see others is often a reflection of how we see ourselves.
Until then...
Onward! Darin
Copyright © 2009, Darin R. Molnar, PhD. All rights reserved.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Middle Way Management and Active Decision Making
In my last post, I discussed how equanimity is one of the most valuable characteristics of a Middle Way Manager™. Maintaining your composure under every circumstance and modeling the best characteristics of a leader under pressure are great ways to promote Middle Way Management™. In this post, I consider the importance of active decision making to your daily Middle Way Management walk.
An Organizational Expectation
As a manager in an American-style organization, it's an organizational expectation that you engage in active decision-making unilaterally, with your team, or as part of a larger management structure. As you morph your management approach into a Middle Way Management practice, this expectation does not decline in importance. In fact, its import increases because you will have beefed up your decision-making toolkit with new sensibilities--compassion, empathy, sympathy, understanding, and kindness. The decisions you make in your daily practice will determine your success as a Middle Way Manager.
What does Middle Way Management decision-making look like? It looks like any other decision-making process, the differences being the practice influences under which you make decisions and the terminal effects of the expected outcomes at the individual and organizational levels. By this, I mean the Middle Way Manager characteristics of compassion, empathy, sympathy, understanding, and kindness will act to inform both the ways in which you make decisions, as well as the outcomes of those decisions. As long as your decision-making process is aligned with organizational goals and objectives, your methodology will be considered organizationally sound, especially when you produce spectacular results.
Forty Per Cent Turnover? Are You Kidding Me?!?
I once worked for a non-profit organization with a phenomenal track record as one of the premier K-12 testing and assessment organizations in the United States, maybe even the world. I learned shortly after starting there as an IT manager that the turnover rate in the department was at least 40 per cent. Of course, this is one of those little gems you never hear about from the recruiter or the 25 people who interview you before you start the job. I was stumped at the figure because my boss (VP, Information Technology) was such a caring, concerned, generous, kind man. I knew this because he had told me so--repeatedly. If you're not seeing red flags and hearing alarm bells by now, you should be.
My boss' initial interest in me was predicated upon my study of and publications about servant leadership, a leadership and management approach philosophically close to Middle Way Management. It turned out my interest was as close as the organization intended to get to servant leadership. Two weeks after I started, I began noticing that people were quitting in groups of three or more. They were, for lack of a better term, dropping like flies.
As I investigated the reasons for this by interviewing several vocal, disgruntled team members, it became clear the attitude prevalent among IT managers was the typical American-style, humans-as-a-resource approach that forced people to work long hours and weekends to accomplish development goals set by those at the very top of the hierarchy. The trickle-down effect was the highest turnover rate I've ever seen in an organization.
How would a Middle Way Management approach have made this any different? First of all, software and system development goals would have been set with team member input. This sends the message that all team members are valued for their insights and expertise. Next, development planning would have taken family and outside obligations into account. Working people to death because children need testing and assessment tools is no way to create team member buy-in. Finally, extraordinary effort would have been rewarded in a variety of ways, all of which could be decided upon by team members.
Through my interviews, I learned that people simply wanted three things: (1) Not to be worked to death, (2) More time off to spend with their families, and (3) Thanks for a job well done. That was it. They didn't want more money or even recognition before their peers. All they wanted was to be treated decently, which is a primary responsibility of the Middle Way Manager.
Anything But Mediocre
The "Middle" of Middle Way Management is about finding the middle ground between management behavioral extremes. Compassion, empathy, composure, resilience, creativity, kindness; these are the "Middle Way" of the approach. When it comes to decision-making, the actions taken by Middle Way Managers are extraordinary because they are made with the precision and intent that only come from walking the true Middle Way Management path of compassion, accountability, and excellence, of honesty, candor, and empathy. Middle Way Managers are active decision-makers because it's their duty as organizational managers and it's their moral obligation to make the decisions that provide vision for the team. Middle Way Managers, and their decisions, are anything but mediocre.
I hope this has clarified questions you might have had about the nature of Middle Way Management and how Middle Way Managers engage in active decision making. In my next post, I will address the tightly coupled roles of creativity and innovation in Middle Way Management.
Onward! Darin
Copyright © 2009, Darin R. Molnar, PhD. All rights reserved.
An Organizational Expectation
As a manager in an American-style organization, it's an organizational expectation that you engage in active decision-making unilaterally, with your team, or as part of a larger management structure. As you morph your management approach into a Middle Way Management practice, this expectation does not decline in importance. In fact, its import increases because you will have beefed up your decision-making toolkit with new sensibilities--compassion, empathy, sympathy, understanding, and kindness. The decisions you make in your daily practice will determine your success as a Middle Way Manager.
What does Middle Way Management decision-making look like? It looks like any other decision-making process, the differences being the practice influences under which you make decisions and the terminal effects of the expected outcomes at the individual and organizational levels. By this, I mean the Middle Way Manager characteristics of compassion, empathy, sympathy, understanding, and kindness will act to inform both the ways in which you make decisions, as well as the outcomes of those decisions. As long as your decision-making process is aligned with organizational goals and objectives, your methodology will be considered organizationally sound, especially when you produce spectacular results.
Forty Per Cent Turnover? Are You Kidding Me?!?
I once worked for a non-profit organization with a phenomenal track record as one of the premier K-12 testing and assessment organizations in the United States, maybe even the world. I learned shortly after starting there as an IT manager that the turnover rate in the department was at least 40 per cent. Of course, this is one of those little gems you never hear about from the recruiter or the 25 people who interview you before you start the job. I was stumped at the figure because my boss (VP, Information Technology) was such a caring, concerned, generous, kind man. I knew this because he had told me so--repeatedly. If you're not seeing red flags and hearing alarm bells by now, you should be.
My boss' initial interest in me was predicated upon my study of and publications about servant leadership, a leadership and management approach philosophically close to Middle Way Management. It turned out my interest was as close as the organization intended to get to servant leadership. Two weeks after I started, I began noticing that people were quitting in groups of three or more. They were, for lack of a better term, dropping like flies.
As I investigated the reasons for this by interviewing several vocal, disgruntled team members, it became clear the attitude prevalent among IT managers was the typical American-style, humans-as-a-resource approach that forced people to work long hours and weekends to accomplish development goals set by those at the very top of the hierarchy. The trickle-down effect was the highest turnover rate I've ever seen in an organization.
How would a Middle Way Management approach have made this any different? First of all, software and system development goals would have been set with team member input. This sends the message that all team members are valued for their insights and expertise. Next, development planning would have taken family and outside obligations into account. Working people to death because children need testing and assessment tools is no way to create team member buy-in. Finally, extraordinary effort would have been rewarded in a variety of ways, all of which could be decided upon by team members.
Through my interviews, I learned that people simply wanted three things: (1) Not to be worked to death, (2) More time off to spend with their families, and (3) Thanks for a job well done. That was it. They didn't want more money or even recognition before their peers. All they wanted was to be treated decently, which is a primary responsibility of the Middle Way Manager.
Anything But Mediocre
The "Middle" of Middle Way Management is about finding the middle ground between management behavioral extremes. Compassion, empathy, composure, resilience, creativity, kindness; these are the "Middle Way" of the approach. When it comes to decision-making, the actions taken by Middle Way Managers are extraordinary because they are made with the precision and intent that only come from walking the true Middle Way Management path of compassion, accountability, and excellence, of honesty, candor, and empathy. Middle Way Managers are active decision-makers because it's their duty as organizational managers and it's their moral obligation to make the decisions that provide vision for the team. Middle Way Managers, and their decisions, are anything but mediocre.
I hope this has clarified questions you might have had about the nature of Middle Way Management and how Middle Way Managers engage in active decision making. In my next post, I will address the tightly coupled roles of creativity and innovation in Middle Way Management.
Onward! Darin
Copyright © 2009, Darin R. Molnar, PhD. All rights reserved.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Middle Way Management and Equanimity
In my last post, I discussed how you can participate in building a strong and vibrant Middle Way Management™ community. Only by building this community together will we provide Middle Way Managers™ the guidance and resources necessary for their successful daily walk. In this post, I consider to role of equanimity in your Middle Way Management practice.
What is this thing called Equanimity?
Equanimity is "mental or emotional stability or composure, especially under tension or strain; calmness; equilibrium" (Dictionary.com, 2009). Do these environmental conditions sound familiar? Every manager working in an American-style organization has been "under tension or strain" at one time or another, some of us more often than not. As I think back to particularly stressful management positions I've held, I must admit that I behaved in a less-than-composed manner on more than one occasion. Of course, back then I wasn't thinking in terms of Middle Way Management and how presenting a composed and calm manner during times of extreme duress is a great way to model leadership.
As a Middle Way Manager, you should always try to maintain your equilibrium regardless of the organizational situation in which you find yourself. The only way to maintain a calm exterior is to possess a calm inner energy. You cannot fake your way into equanimity--the human mind is too quick and picks up on too many subtle (and not so subtle) clues about your true feelings. Team members will sense your panic very, very quickly and react in their own, special ways. Thus, challenging situations present you with opportunities to step back and view the landscape with as little emotion as possible while remembering that the ego will slip you into a reactive state without you even knowing it has occurred.
Dictionary.com. (2009). Retrieved June 29, 2009, from http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/equanimity
Copyright © 2009, Darin R. Molnar, PhD. All rights reserved.
What is this thing called Equanimity?
Equanimity is "mental or emotional stability or composure, especially under tension or strain; calmness; equilibrium" (Dictionary.com, 2009). Do these environmental conditions sound familiar? Every manager working in an American-style organization has been "under tension or strain" at one time or another, some of us more often than not. As I think back to particularly stressful management positions I've held, I must admit that I behaved in a less-than-composed manner on more than one occasion. Of course, back then I wasn't thinking in terms of Middle Way Management and how presenting a composed and calm manner during times of extreme duress is a great way to model leadership.
As a Middle Way Manager, you should always try to maintain your equilibrium regardless of the organizational situation in which you find yourself. The only way to maintain a calm exterior is to possess a calm inner energy. You cannot fake your way into equanimity--the human mind is too quick and picks up on too many subtle (and not so subtle) clues about your true feelings. Team members will sense your panic very, very quickly and react in their own, special ways. Thus, challenging situations present you with opportunities to step back and view the landscape with as little emotion as possible while remembering that the ego will slip you into a reactive state without you even knowing it has occurred.
Walking Your Middle Way Management Talk
I've offered ideas in previous posts for developing and maintaining your Middle Way Management practice through mindful breathing, neuro-linguistic anchoring, and reflective thought. Frankly, this is where the preparatory rubber meets the road. All of your hard development work comes into laser-point focus as you make the decision to conduct yourself with equanimous comportment. This is your chance to authentically walk your Middle Way Management talk.
There are three aspects you should consider when conducting yourself equanimously: (1) Right thought (inner dialogue), (2) Right speech (outer dialogue), and (3) Right action (behaviors). Again, all of your hard work preparing yourself to be a true and effective Middle Way Manager will result in an inner calm that no one can achieve without actively seeking it with mindful intent. As you form your thoughts in positive, compassionate, empathetic ways, your speech will naturally follow. Your words will change from the typical American-style organizational language of no-holds-barred competition and war to something more gracious and inclusive. As a result, your actions and behaviors will become more circumspect and, hence, valued by your colleagues.
The Eye of the Storm
As I think of an American-style manager leading a team through a rough organizational patch, I can't help picturing an 18th century sea captain barking out orders as drenching winds and high seas knock his ship and crew about. I know I've felt this way as a manager in the past. Fortunately, you now have the managerial tools to act as an anchor to your organization, someone who all organizational members can learn to value as a calm place in the eye (i.e., the middle) of the storm. You may even notice over time that you are breathing increasingly rarified air as you creep into the upper management echelons of your organization!
I hope this post has helped you think about how practicing some of the techniques I've presented in previous posts can work to set you up for success. Middle Way Managers don't just spring from the mouth of Zeus, they are made through hard work and commitment over time. Practice right thought, right speech, and right action and you will enjoy the fruits of your diligent labors.
In my next post, I will consider Middle Way Management and active decision-making. Until then...
Onward! Darin
ReferenceI've offered ideas in previous posts for developing and maintaining your Middle Way Management practice through mindful breathing, neuro-linguistic anchoring, and reflective thought. Frankly, this is where the preparatory rubber meets the road. All of your hard development work comes into laser-point focus as you make the decision to conduct yourself with equanimous comportment. This is your chance to authentically walk your Middle Way Management talk.
There are three aspects you should consider when conducting yourself equanimously: (1) Right thought (inner dialogue), (2) Right speech (outer dialogue), and (3) Right action (behaviors). Again, all of your hard work preparing yourself to be a true and effective Middle Way Manager will result in an inner calm that no one can achieve without actively seeking it with mindful intent. As you form your thoughts in positive, compassionate, empathetic ways, your speech will naturally follow. Your words will change from the typical American-style organizational language of no-holds-barred competition and war to something more gracious and inclusive. As a result, your actions and behaviors will become more circumspect and, hence, valued by your colleagues.
The Eye of the Storm
As I think of an American-style manager leading a team through a rough organizational patch, I can't help picturing an 18th century sea captain barking out orders as drenching winds and high seas knock his ship and crew about. I know I've felt this way as a manager in the past. Fortunately, you now have the managerial tools to act as an anchor to your organization, someone who all organizational members can learn to value as a calm place in the eye (i.e., the middle) of the storm. You may even notice over time that you are breathing increasingly rarified air as you creep into the upper management echelons of your organization!
I hope this post has helped you think about how practicing some of the techniques I've presented in previous posts can work to set you up for success. Middle Way Managers don't just spring from the mouth of Zeus, they are made through hard work and commitment over time. Practice right thought, right speech, and right action and you will enjoy the fruits of your diligent labors.
In my next post, I will consider Middle Way Management and active decision-making. Until then...
Onward! Darin
Dictionary.com. (2009). Retrieved June 29, 2009, from http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/equanimity
Copyright © 2009, Darin R. Molnar, PhD. All rights reserved.
The Middle Way Management Practice Community
In my last post, I discussed Middle Way Management™ and accountability. Middle Way Managers™ excel at holding everyone--superiors, colleagues, team members, suppliers, customers--to the highest possible ethical and quality standards. The honesty and candor with which you hold others accountable is the same treatment you should expect in return. In this post, I will consider how a solid and accessible community of Middle Way Management practitioners can help keep your momentum going.
Friends, Romans, Fellow Middle Way Managers...
Middle Way Management is a new approach to leading and managing people. This means it will be difficult at first to find a community of Middle Way Managers in your neighborhood. As people and organizations begin to adopt the approach, it will become increasingly easier to find such groups. Until then, you can rely on me and the Middle Way Management Web site (http://www.MiddleWayManagement.com) for support, information, teachings, and comfort as you develop your practice.
Regardless of the community's size, it's important you make a regular and concerted effort to interact with other Middle Way Managers. Those with more experience will offer counsel and support. Likewise, opportunities for you to share your own invaluable experience with others will appear seemingly from nowhere. Your contact with this group should be on a regular schedule so it reinforces what you are already accomplishing in your organization. As the community continues to grow nationwide, and then worldwide, networks and groups will show up on social networking sites such as LinkedIn (http://www.LinkedIn.com).
What Have You Done For Me Lately?
As a Middle Way Manager, building the Middle Way Management community is a special opportunity for you to exercise your management muscles. I highly recommend you assume the role of evangelist, it's a lot of fun and you'll meet a lot of wonderful people. Social networking, Web sites, articles, presentations--general advocacy is what will make Middle Way Management a strong and lasting approach. I have big plans and I'd like you to be a part of them. Please keep me posted on your progress and let me know when, where, and how I can be of service to you.
My future plans include the creation of a survey instrument intended to measure the "level" of Middle Way Management in organizations. I'm currently putting together an expert leadership panel to conduct a Delphi study intended to refine the items for such an instrument. I will conduct a limited field study (expect a request from me for participation soon) followed up by a full-blown survey study that will result in a journal article describing and explaining the dynamics of Middle Way Management. The outcomes of this study will also be included in the book when it comes out in the first quarter of 2010.
In my next post, I will discuss Middle Way Management and the role of equanimity in your daily practice. When you maintain an even keel, you present a model of composure that is a constant example of what it means to manage with compassion, empathy, sympathy, and kindness.
Until then, keep at it--you are the heart and soul of Middle Way Management!
Onward! Darin
Copyright © 2009, Darin R. Molnar, PhD. All rights reserved.
Friends, Romans, Fellow Middle Way Managers...
Middle Way Management is a new approach to leading and managing people. This means it will be difficult at first to find a community of Middle Way Managers in your neighborhood. As people and organizations begin to adopt the approach, it will become increasingly easier to find such groups. Until then, you can rely on me and the Middle Way Management Web site (http://www.MiddleWayManagement.com) for support, information, teachings, and comfort as you develop your practice.
Regardless of the community's size, it's important you make a regular and concerted effort to interact with other Middle Way Managers. Those with more experience will offer counsel and support. Likewise, opportunities for you to share your own invaluable experience with others will appear seemingly from nowhere. Your contact with this group should be on a regular schedule so it reinforces what you are already accomplishing in your organization. As the community continues to grow nationwide, and then worldwide, networks and groups will show up on social networking sites such as LinkedIn (http://www.LinkedIn.com).
What Have You Done For Me Lately?
As a Middle Way Manager, building the Middle Way Management community is a special opportunity for you to exercise your management muscles. I highly recommend you assume the role of evangelist, it's a lot of fun and you'll meet a lot of wonderful people. Social networking, Web sites, articles, presentations--general advocacy is what will make Middle Way Management a strong and lasting approach. I have big plans and I'd like you to be a part of them. Please keep me posted on your progress and let me know when, where, and how I can be of service to you.
My future plans include the creation of a survey instrument intended to measure the "level" of Middle Way Management in organizations. I'm currently putting together an expert leadership panel to conduct a Delphi study intended to refine the items for such an instrument. I will conduct a limited field study (expect a request from me for participation soon) followed up by a full-blown survey study that will result in a journal article describing and explaining the dynamics of Middle Way Management. The outcomes of this study will also be included in the book when it comes out in the first quarter of 2010.
In my next post, I will discuss Middle Way Management and the role of equanimity in your daily practice. When you maintain an even keel, you present a model of composure that is a constant example of what it means to manage with compassion, empathy, sympathy, and kindness.
Until then, keep at it--you are the heart and soul of Middle Way Management!
Onward! Darin
Copyright © 2009, Darin R. Molnar, PhD. All rights reserved.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Middle Way Management and Accountability
In my last post, I discussed Middle Way Management™ and life/work balance. I suggested the only way you can honestly counsel those you lead and manage to balance their own life and work is to model it yourself. It's only when you are balanced that your Middle Way Management practice becomes an effortless daily walk. In this post, I consider how holding organizational members accountable and expecting the same from others is a primary expectation of the Middle Way Manager™.
Hard and Soft Management Approaches
What is the difference between "hard" and "soft" leadership/management approaches? A hard approach is starkly prescriptive. It offers directed actions intended to "fix" management situations. "If you see this, do that." These approaches claim to have all of the answers to any management dilemma you might confront. They are especially amenable to linear thinkers because they offer a yes/no dichotomy that results in a final decision, even if it's the wrong one! They rarely have all the answers.
A "soft" approach seeks to foster character attributes in the leader/manager to act as guiding principles for any management dilemma that might crop up. This is very much akin to virtue ethics in which the character of the person precedes and informs management decisions. Rather than asking questions such as "What action will do the most good for organizational members and result in the least harm?", the Middle Way Manager asks, "What sort of person am I?" when addressing difficult management situations. These approaches not only acknowledge they do not have all the answers, they revel in the fact and invite debate, discussion, and dialogue at every opportunity.
Accountability and Candor
True, Middle Way Management is a descriptive, rather than prescriptive, approach to leading and managing people. Though I do offer a few techniques for centering oneself and interacting with organizational members, the approach is fundamentally ontological - it's a way of being around which you craft your unique way of doing. At its root, Middle Way Management is a soft approach in terms of the conventional thinking I presented above, yet it is in no way easy on organizational members.
The authentic Middle Way Manager holds organizational members accountable for their words and actions and expects the same from others. Whether it's a boss, a colleague, a team member, a strategic partner, a supplier, or a customer, the Middle Way Manager holds all accountable while being held himself to the highest level of accountability. This attention to honesty and the candor that upholding such standards requires are hallmarks of the Middle Way Manager.
As I stated in an earlier post, I've worked for a Buddhist CEO who would feel right at home practicing Middle Way Management. While he was a compassionate, empathetic, gracious, and kind leader/manager, it was my observation that he did not hold organizational members accountable for either their promises or their words and deeds. Though his vision for the organization was sound and inspiring, a lack of accountability resulted in a chaotic environment in which some departments experienced annual employee turnover rates as high as forty per cent. Clearly, he and his organization would have benefited from a practice of holding all organizational members accountable while still maintaining an environment of compassion and mindful awareness.
I hope this post has clarified my thinking around how a "soft" approach to leading and managing people can be as, if not more, rigorous than a traditionally "hard" approach. In the end, it's all about compassion, empathy, honesty, and candor. Practice these and you will be called a Middle Way Manager.
Viva accountability!
Onward! Darin
Copyright © 2009, Darin R. Molnar, PhD. All rights reserved.
Hard and Soft Management Approaches
What is the difference between "hard" and "soft" leadership/management approaches? A hard approach is starkly prescriptive. It offers directed actions intended to "fix" management situations. "If you see this, do that." These approaches claim to have all of the answers to any management dilemma you might confront. They are especially amenable to linear thinkers because they offer a yes/no dichotomy that results in a final decision, even if it's the wrong one! They rarely have all the answers.
A "soft" approach seeks to foster character attributes in the leader/manager to act as guiding principles for any management dilemma that might crop up. This is very much akin to virtue ethics in which the character of the person precedes and informs management decisions. Rather than asking questions such as "What action will do the most good for organizational members and result in the least harm?", the Middle Way Manager asks, "What sort of person am I?" when addressing difficult management situations. These approaches not only acknowledge they do not have all the answers, they revel in the fact and invite debate, discussion, and dialogue at every opportunity.
Accountability and Candor
True, Middle Way Management is a descriptive, rather than prescriptive, approach to leading and managing people. Though I do offer a few techniques for centering oneself and interacting with organizational members, the approach is fundamentally ontological - it's a way of being around which you craft your unique way of doing. At its root, Middle Way Management is a soft approach in terms of the conventional thinking I presented above, yet it is in no way easy on organizational members.
The authentic Middle Way Manager holds organizational members accountable for their words and actions and expects the same from others. Whether it's a boss, a colleague, a team member, a strategic partner, a supplier, or a customer, the Middle Way Manager holds all accountable while being held himself to the highest level of accountability. This attention to honesty and the candor that upholding such standards requires are hallmarks of the Middle Way Manager.
As I stated in an earlier post, I've worked for a Buddhist CEO who would feel right at home practicing Middle Way Management. While he was a compassionate, empathetic, gracious, and kind leader/manager, it was my observation that he did not hold organizational members accountable for either their promises or their words and deeds. Though his vision for the organization was sound and inspiring, a lack of accountability resulted in a chaotic environment in which some departments experienced annual employee turnover rates as high as forty per cent. Clearly, he and his organization would have benefited from a practice of holding all organizational members accountable while still maintaining an environment of compassion and mindful awareness.
I hope this post has clarified my thinking around how a "soft" approach to leading and managing people can be as, if not more, rigorous than a traditionally "hard" approach. In the end, it's all about compassion, empathy, honesty, and candor. Practice these and you will be called a Middle Way Manager.
Viva accountability!
Onward! Darin
Copyright © 2009, Darin R. Molnar, PhD. All rights reserved.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Middle Way Management and Life/Work Balance
In my last post, I discussed the role of reflective thought in your Middle Way Management™ practice. Taking a few minutes out of your hectic Middle Way Manager™ schedule to reflect on the day's events is a great way to center yourself and renew your physical and emotional energies. In this post, I suggest that balancing your work with home duties to relieve suffering for everyone in your busy life is a great way to practice Middle Way Management.
An Awareness that Suffering Exists
Regardless of the context in which we find ourselves--workplace, public, home--you may be sure of one thing: Suffering exists. In some ways, we are born to a life of suffering, especially when we let ego and a self-definition based on fear get the better of us. I know I have let them get the better of me in the past. Now, though, I see more clearly by practicing a daily, mindful walk of compassion and empathy that extends from my workplace to my personal life. Once you commit to practicing Middle Way Management, it's inevitable that it will affect all other compartments of your life.
As we acknowledge the suffering that exists in the world, we raise our awareness to include everyone around us. In previous posts, I talked about the suffering of your own manager(s), the suffering of the people you manage, and the suffering of your peers and colleagues. I've discussed the Ripple Effect that can be kicked off by a simple act of kindness and compassion. It's this increased awareness and mindful interaction with others that demonstrates the true Middle Way Management practice. An important aspect of this mindful awareness is the recognition that we reduce our own suffering and the suffering of those around us by developing and maintaining a reasonable balance between work and home activities.
A Balancing Act
Practicing any kind of management approach can be challenging. American-style organizations expect a lot from their managers and their managers typically respond beyond expectations (most often because their self-definitions are wrapped up in their job titles). This results in hard work and long hours that test the strength and durability of all sorts of relationships for the manager. As a Middle Way Manager, you must jealousy guard your time and energy because ample amounts of both help you develop a vibrant Middle Way Management practice. Allowing yourself to be stretched too thin at the workplace creates suffering for you and for those around you.
As you balance your work life with your private, personal life, you keep your priorities in a good place and you keep your relationships vigorous and healthy. As a Middle Way Manager, it is important to maintain a balanced life, especially if you wish to act as an example or counsel those you manage to do the same. Before we can help others achieve any kind of reasonable balance in their lives, we must embody the characteristics, behaviors, and beliefs that led us to achieve the balance in the first place. Without first doing this, we are in danger of approaching the Middle Way Management path with hypocrisy, which demotivates those we manage as much, if not more, than muddled, unclear communication.
Assessing the Situation
You may be thinking something along these lines: "This sounds great, yet the reality of the situation is that a perceived lack of extraordinary performance on my part may compromise my position at work." Given the treatment of managers in American-style organizations, this is absolutely true. So, once again (I've said this in previous posts), you must decide if the organization is right for you and if you are "right" for the organization. As your focus and goals shift and change under a Middle Way Management practice, you may find that you no longer believe in the objectives of the organization, or even its reason for existence.
This realization will require a decision on your part, one that is not easy. You really have only two choices: (1) To remain in your position and try to influence the organization by relieving organizational suffering through positive, compassionate actions or (2) Leave the organization for one that supports your Middle Way Management sensibilities. Either of these decisions requires honesty and courage on your part, both of which will become increasingly easy to exercise as your Middle Way Management practice matures.
The fundamental difference between this and other leadership/management approaches is the conspicuous call for a balanced life in the interest of increasing the levels of compassion and empathy in your daily walk.
In my next post, I will discuss Middle Way Management and accountability. Though Middle Way Management is considered a "soft" approach by conventional standards, it is anything but easy on people when it comes to holding them accountable for their words and deeds.
Onward! Darin
Copyright © 2009, Darin R. Molnar, PhD. All rights reserved.
An Awareness that Suffering Exists
Regardless of the context in which we find ourselves--workplace, public, home--you may be sure of one thing: Suffering exists. In some ways, we are born to a life of suffering, especially when we let ego and a self-definition based on fear get the better of us. I know I have let them get the better of me in the past. Now, though, I see more clearly by practicing a daily, mindful walk of compassion and empathy that extends from my workplace to my personal life. Once you commit to practicing Middle Way Management, it's inevitable that it will affect all other compartments of your life.
As we acknowledge the suffering that exists in the world, we raise our awareness to include everyone around us. In previous posts, I talked about the suffering of your own manager(s), the suffering of the people you manage, and the suffering of your peers and colleagues. I've discussed the Ripple Effect that can be kicked off by a simple act of kindness and compassion. It's this increased awareness and mindful interaction with others that demonstrates the true Middle Way Management practice. An important aspect of this mindful awareness is the recognition that we reduce our own suffering and the suffering of those around us by developing and maintaining a reasonable balance between work and home activities.
A Balancing Act
Practicing any kind of management approach can be challenging. American-style organizations expect a lot from their managers and their managers typically respond beyond expectations (most often because their self-definitions are wrapped up in their job titles). This results in hard work and long hours that test the strength and durability of all sorts of relationships for the manager. As a Middle Way Manager, you must jealousy guard your time and energy because ample amounts of both help you develop a vibrant Middle Way Management practice. Allowing yourself to be stretched too thin at the workplace creates suffering for you and for those around you.
As you balance your work life with your private, personal life, you keep your priorities in a good place and you keep your relationships vigorous and healthy. As a Middle Way Manager, it is important to maintain a balanced life, especially if you wish to act as an example or counsel those you manage to do the same. Before we can help others achieve any kind of reasonable balance in their lives, we must embody the characteristics, behaviors, and beliefs that led us to achieve the balance in the first place. Without first doing this, we are in danger of approaching the Middle Way Management path with hypocrisy, which demotivates those we manage as much, if not more, than muddled, unclear communication.
Assessing the Situation
You may be thinking something along these lines: "This sounds great, yet the reality of the situation is that a perceived lack of extraordinary performance on my part may compromise my position at work." Given the treatment of managers in American-style organizations, this is absolutely true. So, once again (I've said this in previous posts), you must decide if the organization is right for you and if you are "right" for the organization. As your focus and goals shift and change under a Middle Way Management practice, you may find that you no longer believe in the objectives of the organization, or even its reason for existence.
This realization will require a decision on your part, one that is not easy. You really have only two choices: (1) To remain in your position and try to influence the organization by relieving organizational suffering through positive, compassionate actions or (2) Leave the organization for one that supports your Middle Way Management sensibilities. Either of these decisions requires honesty and courage on your part, both of which will become increasingly easy to exercise as your Middle Way Management practice matures.
The fundamental difference between this and other leadership/management approaches is the conspicuous call for a balanced life in the interest of increasing the levels of compassion and empathy in your daily walk.
In my next post, I will discuss Middle Way Management and accountability. Though Middle Way Management is considered a "soft" approach by conventional standards, it is anything but easy on people when it comes to holding them accountable for their words and deeds.
Onward! Darin
Copyright © 2009, Darin R. Molnar, PhD. All rights reserved.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Middle Way Management and Reflective Thought
In my last post, I talked about linear and non-linear thinking and how they affect the practice of Middle Way Management™. I suggested it is possible to practice Middle Way Management as a non-linear thinker in the context of a linear-thinking, American-style organization. In this post, I discuss the role of reflective thought and how you can rely on it as a calming instrument during the course of your hectic day.
Reflections on Reflective Thought
We all engage in reflective thought at some level throughout the course of a day. As a manager, it can be quite difficult in the workplace to reflect on events immediately after they have happened. I know, I've been there. Attending meeting after meeting after meeting after meeting does not promote the kind of peaceful reflection one requires to absorb much, let alone the content of those meetings!
It is an absolute necessity that you take the time out of your busy day to reflect on events. Without this, you will carry past injuries into the present so that you are living in a fearful future that will most probably never come about. As Mark Twain so eloquently put it, "I have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened."
Reflective thought is not a quick review of meeting notes or briefly glancing at your schedule in the morning before everything busts loose. Reflective thought is the intentional act of quieting your mind in a peaceful place so that you can not only reflect on the past, you can address the future in a non-reactive way by mindfully living in the present.
Since one of the main ideas behind Middle Way Management is the act of living in the Now while letting the past inform your present and planning for the future, this simple act of taking time to reflect on workplace events is crucial to your success as a Middle Way Manager™.
Vision: A Moral Imperative of the Middle Way Manager
As a leader who embraces Middle Way Management, it is important you understand the critical role played by vision in your daily management practice. Truly, without vision, the organization will perish. Vision is the anchor for the activities of the present; it is what drives us to create and understand the 'what' and it is what compels us to find innovative solutions for the 'how' and 'when' of our work.
Vision is what excites and motivates people to perform to the best of their abilities. The leader-manager who lacks vision provides no incentive to the team. For this reason, it is a moral imperative of the Middle Way Manager to foster mindful awareness based upon shared organizational vision. Vision cannot be developed without engaging in frequent, consciously mindful reflective thought. Hence, reflective thought that leads to a clear, concise, exciting vision for the team is an obligation of the Middle Way Manager.
Quiet Reflections
I once worked for an organization led by a Buddhist CEO. Upon arriving for a meeting at his office one day, I was told by his assistant that he was not yet available because he was "meditating or something." What a great reason to be left waiting. This CEO took time every day to engage in meditation based upon his personal religious beliefs, which informed every aspect of his management style. While it is my observation that he did not hold upper-level managers sufficiently accountable for their decisions, actions, and outcomes (a topic for a future post), he did manage with compassion, empathy, understanding and patience.
Along these lines, it is important for you to take the time to find a quiet place and reflect on events of the day, both past and upcoming. As a busy manager, I have had to block out time on my calendar as a meeting so that no one would book over the top of my reflection time. This may seem disingenuous, but if you book it as personal time and you work for a busy organization, your request will probably not be honored. Besides, it really is a meeting--with yourself.
Your place of restful thinking will offer you the peaceful environment necessary for you to calm your mind. In this case, an open door policy should be discarded for a few moments. You can use the breathing technique described in a previous post or simply sit with your eyes closed while listening to some pleasant music. It's probably not practical to light a candle in an office building, yet I do this when I am working in my own office at home.
I sit in a comfortable chair, close my eyes, calm myself with mindfully aware breathing and reflect. At first, your mind will wander. It always helps me before a session to review a few topics before settling in. This way, you can let your unconscious mind work on other topics as you review ones at the top of your mind. You should not take too much time to do this--it is not an exercise in mediation. Rather, it's an opportunity for you to quiet your mind and get organized so that you can charge ahead with renewed vigor. Ten minutes or so are quite enough for me.
Hopefully, this gives you a way to maintain a busy managerial work schedule without sacrificing too much of your physical energy. In my next post, I will discuss Middle Way Management and life/work balance. The consciously mindful path of the Middle Way Manager treads carefully between work and home. We truly do serve others best by balancing our workload with our personal obligations.
Until then, reflect early and often!
Onward! Darin
Copyright © 2009, Darin R. Molnar, PhD. All rights reserved.
Reflections on Reflective Thought
We all engage in reflective thought at some level throughout the course of a day. As a manager, it can be quite difficult in the workplace to reflect on events immediately after they have happened. I know, I've been there. Attending meeting after meeting after meeting after meeting does not promote the kind of peaceful reflection one requires to absorb much, let alone the content of those meetings!
It is an absolute necessity that you take the time out of your busy day to reflect on events. Without this, you will carry past injuries into the present so that you are living in a fearful future that will most probably never come about. As Mark Twain so eloquently put it, "I have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened."
Reflective thought is not a quick review of meeting notes or briefly glancing at your schedule in the morning before everything busts loose. Reflective thought is the intentional act of quieting your mind in a peaceful place so that you can not only reflect on the past, you can address the future in a non-reactive way by mindfully living in the present.
Since one of the main ideas behind Middle Way Management is the act of living in the Now while letting the past inform your present and planning for the future, this simple act of taking time to reflect on workplace events is crucial to your success as a Middle Way Manager™.
Vision: A Moral Imperative of the Middle Way Manager
As a leader who embraces Middle Way Management, it is important you understand the critical role played by vision in your daily management practice. Truly, without vision, the organization will perish. Vision is the anchor for the activities of the present; it is what drives us to create and understand the 'what' and it is what compels us to find innovative solutions for the 'how' and 'when' of our work.
Vision is what excites and motivates people to perform to the best of their abilities. The leader-manager who lacks vision provides no incentive to the team. For this reason, it is a moral imperative of the Middle Way Manager to foster mindful awareness based upon shared organizational vision. Vision cannot be developed without engaging in frequent, consciously mindful reflective thought. Hence, reflective thought that leads to a clear, concise, exciting vision for the team is an obligation of the Middle Way Manager.
Quiet Reflections
I once worked for an organization led by a Buddhist CEO. Upon arriving for a meeting at his office one day, I was told by his assistant that he was not yet available because he was "meditating or something." What a great reason to be left waiting. This CEO took time every day to engage in meditation based upon his personal religious beliefs, which informed every aspect of his management style. While it is my observation that he did not hold upper-level managers sufficiently accountable for their decisions, actions, and outcomes (a topic for a future post), he did manage with compassion, empathy, understanding and patience.
Along these lines, it is important for you to take the time to find a quiet place and reflect on events of the day, both past and upcoming. As a busy manager, I have had to block out time on my calendar as a meeting so that no one would book over the top of my reflection time. This may seem disingenuous, but if you book it as personal time and you work for a busy organization, your request will probably not be honored. Besides, it really is a meeting--with yourself.
Your place of restful thinking will offer you the peaceful environment necessary for you to calm your mind. In this case, an open door policy should be discarded for a few moments. You can use the breathing technique described in a previous post or simply sit with your eyes closed while listening to some pleasant music. It's probably not practical to light a candle in an office building, yet I do this when I am working in my own office at home.
I sit in a comfortable chair, close my eyes, calm myself with mindfully aware breathing and reflect. At first, your mind will wander. It always helps me before a session to review a few topics before settling in. This way, you can let your unconscious mind work on other topics as you review ones at the top of your mind. You should not take too much time to do this--it is not an exercise in mediation. Rather, it's an opportunity for you to quiet your mind and get organized so that you can charge ahead with renewed vigor. Ten minutes or so are quite enough for me.
Hopefully, this gives you a way to maintain a busy managerial work schedule without sacrificing too much of your physical energy. In my next post, I will discuss Middle Way Management and life/work balance. The consciously mindful path of the Middle Way Manager treads carefully between work and home. We truly do serve others best by balancing our workload with our personal obligations.
Until then, reflect early and often!
Onward! Darin
Copyright © 2009, Darin R. Molnar, PhD. All rights reserved.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Middle Way Management and (Non-)Linear Thinking
In my last two posts, I discussed managing up and dealing with the difficult team member using Middle Way Management™. The key to managing relationships in both instances is compassion combined with empathy, understanding, sympathy, and a healthy dose of patience. This results in the creation of new, stronger links between you and those with whom you interact. In this post, I will be discussing how linear and non-linear thinking affect your Middle Way Management practice.
Linear vs. Non-linear Thinking
Linear thinkers see the world as a set of absolutes. There are no gray areas. Everything is black or white, you're with us or against us, I'm right and you're wrong. This type of thinking does not entertain more than two options or leave the door open for competing ideas to be held in the mind at any one time. Linear thinking is a fear-based, egoistic way of looking at the world. As you can imagine, this leads to a Middle Way Management practice that is focused upon and driven by expected outcomes that fall within a limited thought space. Rigidity is the norm. Flexibility is not the watchword of the linear thinker.
Non-linear thinkers see the world as a set of options. Nothing is set in stone. Gray areas abound and there is always room for debate, discussion, and dialogue. This type of thinking entertains multiple options at any one time and leaves the door wide open for those options to change as new information comes to light. Aristotle said, "It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." This is also the mark of a non-linear thinker who never feels the need to be right at the expense of others who are wrong. The non-linear thinker does not consider every conversation, meeting, or even competition to be a zero-sum game. The non-linear thinker truly believes everyone can win.
American-style Management
While it is not my goal here to judge one type of thinking as being better than the other, I do recognize that American-style management is all about linear thinking. Examine the language used by American-style leadership and management thinkers and writers and you will see that their metaphors are aggressive, even war-like. The playing field of organizational management is a zero-sum game and, by heavens, they are out to win at all costs.
With these sorts of managers, the end (profit) justifies the means (outright brutality), particularly in the case of people management. If someone doesn't fit into the organizational culture, don't take the time and effort to work with them, simply let them go. I believe the overtly competitive nature of capitalism has driven this attitude. I also believe there is room within capitalistic economic systems and the political systems tightly linked to them for Middle Way Management to flourish.
Thinking in New Terms
Middle Way Managers™ are non-linear thinkers. If American-style management is dominated by linear thinking, how can a Middle Way Manager be effective in an organizational management role? This is perhaps one of the most important questions someone who wishes to make the commitment to developing a Middle Way Management practice can ask herself. As I described in an earlier post, I was once terminated for "practicing servant leadership without a license." While I find humor in it now, believe me, it wasn't that funny back then as they walked me out the door. Rather than using Middle Way Management at the expense of your career or job, think about it in non-linear terms (which I did not do with my former employer).
I think of Middle Way Management as a meta-level approach which I can overlay upon other leadership and management approaches. For instance, organizational operations are largely driven by policies, procedures, guidelines, and rules. Since people are the primary constituents of all organizations, I can practice compassion, empathy, understanding, kindness, sympathy, and patience while still holding my team members accountable to operational constraints. In fact, it is one of the fundamental responsibilities of Middle Way Managers to hold team members accountable to the highest possible ethical and quality standards. In this way, you can practice Middle Way Management in non-linear ways while still maintaining linear organizational norms.
In my next post, I will discuss Middle Way Management and reflective thought. While breathing can help us become centered in the daily storm, reflective thought produces the type of leadership vision that is a moral imperative of the Middle Way Manager.
Go now, and manage well!
Onward! Darin
Copyright © 2009, Darin R. Molnar, PhD. All rights reserved.
Linear vs. Non-linear Thinking
Linear thinkers see the world as a set of absolutes. There are no gray areas. Everything is black or white, you're with us or against us, I'm right and you're wrong. This type of thinking does not entertain more than two options or leave the door open for competing ideas to be held in the mind at any one time. Linear thinking is a fear-based, egoistic way of looking at the world. As you can imagine, this leads to a Middle Way Management practice that is focused upon and driven by expected outcomes that fall within a limited thought space. Rigidity is the norm. Flexibility is not the watchword of the linear thinker.
Non-linear thinkers see the world as a set of options. Nothing is set in stone. Gray areas abound and there is always room for debate, discussion, and dialogue. This type of thinking entertains multiple options at any one time and leaves the door wide open for those options to change as new information comes to light. Aristotle said, "It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." This is also the mark of a non-linear thinker who never feels the need to be right at the expense of others who are wrong. The non-linear thinker does not consider every conversation, meeting, or even competition to be a zero-sum game. The non-linear thinker truly believes everyone can win.
American-style Management
While it is not my goal here to judge one type of thinking as being better than the other, I do recognize that American-style management is all about linear thinking. Examine the language used by American-style leadership and management thinkers and writers and you will see that their metaphors are aggressive, even war-like. The playing field of organizational management is a zero-sum game and, by heavens, they are out to win at all costs.
With these sorts of managers, the end (profit) justifies the means (outright brutality), particularly in the case of people management. If someone doesn't fit into the organizational culture, don't take the time and effort to work with them, simply let them go. I believe the overtly competitive nature of capitalism has driven this attitude. I also believe there is room within capitalistic economic systems and the political systems tightly linked to them for Middle Way Management to flourish.
Thinking in New Terms
Middle Way Managers™ are non-linear thinkers. If American-style management is dominated by linear thinking, how can a Middle Way Manager be effective in an organizational management role? This is perhaps one of the most important questions someone who wishes to make the commitment to developing a Middle Way Management practice can ask herself. As I described in an earlier post, I was once terminated for "practicing servant leadership without a license." While I find humor in it now, believe me, it wasn't that funny back then as they walked me out the door. Rather than using Middle Way Management at the expense of your career or job, think about it in non-linear terms (which I did not do with my former employer).
I think of Middle Way Management as a meta-level approach which I can overlay upon other leadership and management approaches. For instance, organizational operations are largely driven by policies, procedures, guidelines, and rules. Since people are the primary constituents of all organizations, I can practice compassion, empathy, understanding, kindness, sympathy, and patience while still holding my team members accountable to operational constraints. In fact, it is one of the fundamental responsibilities of Middle Way Managers to hold team members accountable to the highest possible ethical and quality standards. In this way, you can practice Middle Way Management in non-linear ways while still maintaining linear organizational norms.
In my next post, I will discuss Middle Way Management and reflective thought. While breathing can help us become centered in the daily storm, reflective thought produces the type of leadership vision that is a moral imperative of the Middle Way Manager.
Go now, and manage well!
Onward! Darin
Copyright © 2009, Darin R. Molnar, PhD. All rights reserved.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Middle Way Management and the Difficult Team Member
As you can imagine, this post will be similar to my last post in which I discussed how to manage up using the Middle Way Management™ attributes of understanding, compassion, empathy, and sympathy. Dealing with a difficult team member requires many of the same behaviors, along with a healthy dose of patience.
The Suffering Team Member
Over the years, I’ve worked with just about every personality type imaginable. Some of them have been difficult, most have not. Admittedly, I’ve even been the difficult one at times. Regardless of the situation, you can be sure the difficult person is suffering. And what is your primary Middle Way Management goal? That’s right, the relief of suffering (you’re starting to get it!), so consider the difficult team member a golden opportunity to walk the Middle Way Management talk.
As I think about the difficult people I’ve worked with (myself included), in every example I come back to a bruised ego. Since ego issues are based upon emotionalized perceptions, accurate or not, much of the relief of suffering is easily accomplished through clear managerial communication. Nothing creates disenchantment quicker than a lack of communication. In the absence of clear, respectful communication, people simply concoct the stories they feel they need to perpetually construct their own perceived value. And isn’t a majority of ego injury caused by the emotions created from a perceived lack of appreciation?
The Relief of Suffering
I wish I could say that I have specific answers as to why everyone suffers. I don't. Since our workplace interactions with difficult people are on a professional level, we only have insight into their behaviors, which are surface level indicators of deeper issues. As a difficult person's language and task quality reveals their suffering, it is your duty as a Middle Way Manager™ to relieve it.
How you go about relieving the suffering of the difficult team member is entirely up to you. Several factors come into play. How well do you know the person? Is it appropriate to delve too deeply to get at root causes? Will the person even accept your help? Regardless, as a Middle Way Manager in an organization, you can typically rely on organizational resources to help you address the team member's suffering. Sometimes, all a suffering person wants is to be heard - by anyone. This is why a suffering organizational member will often choose to voice their suffering to anyone and everyone, which is not good for them, the receiving parties, or the organization.
As a Middle Way Manager, it is your duty to recognize and then empathize with your suffering team member. Once you observe the behavior clues of suffering, you must move forward with compassion, empathy, sympathy, and understanding. Reacting with like behavior is not the way of the Middle Way Manager. Putting yourself in the position of the suffering person is the proper response, one that can work to reframe your relationship with the team member and the team member's relationship with the organization.
In the end, it's all about compassion and empathy, understanding and sympathy. A patient, kind response to the suffering team member is the only way to practice Middle Way Management and the best way to relieve their suffering; it's good for them, it's good for you, and it's good for the organization.
In my next post, I will discuss Middle Way Management and linear thinking.
Until then...
Onward! Darin
Copyright © 2009, Darin R. Molnar, PhD. All rights reserved.
The Suffering Team Member
Over the years, I’ve worked with just about every personality type imaginable. Some of them have been difficult, most have not. Admittedly, I’ve even been the difficult one at times. Regardless of the situation, you can be sure the difficult person is suffering. And what is your primary Middle Way Management goal? That’s right, the relief of suffering (you’re starting to get it!), so consider the difficult team member a golden opportunity to walk the Middle Way Management talk.
As I think about the difficult people I’ve worked with (myself included), in every example I come back to a bruised ego. Since ego issues are based upon emotionalized perceptions, accurate or not, much of the relief of suffering is easily accomplished through clear managerial communication. Nothing creates disenchantment quicker than a lack of communication. In the absence of clear, respectful communication, people simply concoct the stories they feel they need to perpetually construct their own perceived value. And isn’t a majority of ego injury caused by the emotions created from a perceived lack of appreciation?
The Relief of Suffering
I wish I could say that I have specific answers as to why everyone suffers. I don't. Since our workplace interactions with difficult people are on a professional level, we only have insight into their behaviors, which are surface level indicators of deeper issues. As a difficult person's language and task quality reveals their suffering, it is your duty as a Middle Way Manager™ to relieve it.
How you go about relieving the suffering of the difficult team member is entirely up to you. Several factors come into play. How well do you know the person? Is it appropriate to delve too deeply to get at root causes? Will the person even accept your help? Regardless, as a Middle Way Manager in an organization, you can typically rely on organizational resources to help you address the team member's suffering. Sometimes, all a suffering person wants is to be heard - by anyone. This is why a suffering organizational member will often choose to voice their suffering to anyone and everyone, which is not good for them, the receiving parties, or the organization.
As a Middle Way Manager, it is your duty to recognize and then empathize with your suffering team member. Once you observe the behavior clues of suffering, you must move forward with compassion, empathy, sympathy, and understanding. Reacting with like behavior is not the way of the Middle Way Manager. Putting yourself in the position of the suffering person is the proper response, one that can work to reframe your relationship with the team member and the team member's relationship with the organization.
In the end, it's all about compassion and empathy, understanding and sympathy. A patient, kind response to the suffering team member is the only way to practice Middle Way Management and the best way to relieve their suffering; it's good for them, it's good for you, and it's good for the organization.
In my next post, I will discuss Middle Way Management and linear thinking.
Until then...
Onward! Darin
Copyright © 2009, Darin R. Molnar, PhD. All rights reserved.
Friday, June 5, 2009
Managing Up with Middle Way Management
A Couple of (Very) Good Bosses
I've been in the workforce just about all of my life. I started out picking berries, something that is generally too labor intensive for the present generation of pre-teens and teens. I don't begrudge them this attitude. Riding a bike or walking in the chill morning rain to spend the day up to my elbows in ice-cold berry plants, covered with mud and soaked to the bone was never my idea of a good time. Yet, I learned some good lessons over the course of those summers.
One lesson I picked up from spending years communing with nature for profit was that there are all kinds of bosses. The kindly couple who owned the berry patch where I worked were good bosses. They were tough, but fair and always worked as hard as any of their pickers. They were originally from Japan and it was said that during the shameful internment period of World War II, a neighbor cared for the deed to their farm until they could return to begin anew. I believe this lesson, and those from the culture in which they came of age, were not lost on them.
As I prepared to put my thoughts down here, it occurred to me that these people were probably the best bosses I've ever had. They rose early in the morning, worked hard all day, paid fairly and on time, and were always ready with a good ribbing. I believe their management style was the result of compassionate practice. They really did care about the kids who worked for them and it showed.
Missed Opportunities
Again, as I prepared my thoughts, it also struck me that there exists not one example besides the Japanese couple of a boss, or even an organization, for which I have worked that has given one whit about me as a person. Perhaps this is related to the industry in which I have mostly worked over the course of my adult life (Information Technology), yet I suspect it's something deeper, something endemic to Western capitalism and organizational management that considers me nothing more than a "human resource" to be exploited in the interest of maintaining a healthy bottom line. Likewise, I've had myriad opportunities over the years to interact with my bosses by showing compassion and kindness, yet I have passed these up for reasons I do not fully understand.
I'm beginning to get the idea that my vision was clouded by the environment in which I found myself and by the choices I made about how to play in that sandbox. I played by their rules and, most of the time, I lost. My resume is long and eventful with many jobs where I've played a key role in developing and delivering major technological initiatives, yet I do not consider myself successful. I may have at one time, but I do not today. For me, success can only be measured by the constant, mindful awareness that comes from walking the true Middle Way Management™ path.
Moving Forward - and Up
In the interest of moving forward by discussing the positive attributes and behaviors that are developed through the practice of Middle Way Management, I'm not going to detail the bad boss behaviors I've experienced over the years. One thing I've come to realize is that my work experience is in no way unique. Rather than belabor the characteristics of a bad boss, I will assume that we've all had at least one. I would rather detail what it takes to transcend the negative and manage up with kindness, compassion, and empathy.
Managing up is not about manipulating your boss to get what you want. Rather, it's about standing in the psychological and emotional space of your boss so that you can better understand any type of assignment, good or bad. Thinking back to my posts on ego and self-definition, I submit that a "bad" task assignment is nothing more than one that bumps up against your ego and definition of your Self. For instance, if you have worked in a certain position for any length of time and you have put time and energy into defining yourself, at least partly, as that position, a request by your boss that appears menial is probably one that is knocking at your ego.
If this occurs, you should step back to examine why you are feeling this way. This is not easy to do and requires a kind of mindful awareness that can only come with the daily practice of Middle Way Management. Once you can take this step back, it is another very short step to put yourself in the space of your manager. When you accomplish this, you will learn more about your boss that will be helpful to both of you in the future.
If you consider your manager to be good, this will be relatively easy and you may even be able to approach her to ask about the "question behind the question," or what's really going on. If you consider your manager to be bad, this will require some effort on your part. Regardless of your feelings about your manager, you must understand that she will often have insight critical to her request of you, and she simply may not have the time, energy, or permission to relay this knowledge to you.
At the heart of this practice of empathy and sympathy is the goal of fulfilling your manager's request out of a caring and compassionate heart. Remember, one of your primary goals as a Middle Way Manager™ is to relieve suffering within your organization at all levels. This is an opportunity for you to practice true Middle Way Management. As you engage in these sorts of behaviors, you will notice your relationship with your manager change over time.
The relief of managerial suffering is the essence of managing up with Middle Way Management.
I hope you were somewhat surprised by my ideas about "managing up." Making an effort every day to manage up, down, and sideways with compassion, empathy, and mindful awareness is what Middle Way Management is all about.
In my next post, I will discuss Middle Way Management and the difficult team member. Hope to see you there!
Onward! Darin
Copyright © 2009, Darin R. Molnar, PhD. All rights reserved.
I've been in the workforce just about all of my life. I started out picking berries, something that is generally too labor intensive for the present generation of pre-teens and teens. I don't begrudge them this attitude. Riding a bike or walking in the chill morning rain to spend the day up to my elbows in ice-cold berry plants, covered with mud and soaked to the bone was never my idea of a good time. Yet, I learned some good lessons over the course of those summers.
One lesson I picked up from spending years communing with nature for profit was that there are all kinds of bosses. The kindly couple who owned the berry patch where I worked were good bosses. They were tough, but fair and always worked as hard as any of their pickers. They were originally from Japan and it was said that during the shameful internment period of World War II, a neighbor cared for the deed to their farm until they could return to begin anew. I believe this lesson, and those from the culture in which they came of age, were not lost on them.
As I prepared to put my thoughts down here, it occurred to me that these people were probably the best bosses I've ever had. They rose early in the morning, worked hard all day, paid fairly and on time, and were always ready with a good ribbing. I believe their management style was the result of compassionate practice. They really did care about the kids who worked for them and it showed.
Missed Opportunities
Again, as I prepared my thoughts, it also struck me that there exists not one example besides the Japanese couple of a boss, or even an organization, for which I have worked that has given one whit about me as a person. Perhaps this is related to the industry in which I have mostly worked over the course of my adult life (Information Technology), yet I suspect it's something deeper, something endemic to Western capitalism and organizational management that considers me nothing more than a "human resource" to be exploited in the interest of maintaining a healthy bottom line. Likewise, I've had myriad opportunities over the years to interact with my bosses by showing compassion and kindness, yet I have passed these up for reasons I do not fully understand.
I'm beginning to get the idea that my vision was clouded by the environment in which I found myself and by the choices I made about how to play in that sandbox. I played by their rules and, most of the time, I lost. My resume is long and eventful with many jobs where I've played a key role in developing and delivering major technological initiatives, yet I do not consider myself successful. I may have at one time, but I do not today. For me, success can only be measured by the constant, mindful awareness that comes from walking the true Middle Way Management™ path.
Moving Forward - and Up
In the interest of moving forward by discussing the positive attributes and behaviors that are developed through the practice of Middle Way Management, I'm not going to detail the bad boss behaviors I've experienced over the years. One thing I've come to realize is that my work experience is in no way unique. Rather than belabor the characteristics of a bad boss, I will assume that we've all had at least one. I would rather detail what it takes to transcend the negative and manage up with kindness, compassion, and empathy.
Managing up is not about manipulating your boss to get what you want. Rather, it's about standing in the psychological and emotional space of your boss so that you can better understand any type of assignment, good or bad. Thinking back to my posts on ego and self-definition, I submit that a "bad" task assignment is nothing more than one that bumps up against your ego and definition of your Self. For instance, if you have worked in a certain position for any length of time and you have put time and energy into defining yourself, at least partly, as that position, a request by your boss that appears menial is probably one that is knocking at your ego.
If this occurs, you should step back to examine why you are feeling this way. This is not easy to do and requires a kind of mindful awareness that can only come with the daily practice of Middle Way Management. Once you can take this step back, it is another very short step to put yourself in the space of your manager. When you accomplish this, you will learn more about your boss that will be helpful to both of you in the future.
If you consider your manager to be good, this will be relatively easy and you may even be able to approach her to ask about the "question behind the question," or what's really going on. If you consider your manager to be bad, this will require some effort on your part. Regardless of your feelings about your manager, you must understand that she will often have insight critical to her request of you, and she simply may not have the time, energy, or permission to relay this knowledge to you.
At the heart of this practice of empathy and sympathy is the goal of fulfilling your manager's request out of a caring and compassionate heart. Remember, one of your primary goals as a Middle Way Manager™ is to relieve suffering within your organization at all levels. This is an opportunity for you to practice true Middle Way Management. As you engage in these sorts of behaviors, you will notice your relationship with your manager change over time.
The relief of managerial suffering is the essence of managing up with Middle Way Management.
I hope you were somewhat surprised by my ideas about "managing up." Making an effort every day to manage up, down, and sideways with compassion, empathy, and mindful awareness is what Middle Way Management is all about.
In my next post, I will discuss Middle Way Management and the difficult team member. Hope to see you there!
Onward! Darin
Copyright © 2009, Darin R. Molnar, PhD. All rights reserved.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Middle Way Management and Self-Identity
Revisiting Middle Way Management and the Self
In previous posts, I talked about how many of our non-Middle Way Management™ behaviors are born of our fears. I discussed how ego's sole aim is self-preservation, even at the expense of the very creature it inhabits - you! In this post, my intent is to examine self-definition while taking into consideration the content of those previous posts.
So, What Do You Do?
Most of us respond to the question, "So, what do you do?" with a simple answer: "I am my job." We might not say those exact words, but that's what we really mean. "I'm a software engineer." "I'm a dental technician." "I'm a Middle Way Manager." Wouldn't that last answer elicit a surprised look with followup questions!? I always have a hard time answering the "What do you do?" question because I think it's nothing more than a limiting qualifier intended to pigeonhole me into a group or judgment category for the person asking. I often answer, "A little of this, a little of that," which generally doesn't go over very well.
My main concern here is with how people typically answer this question. Most of us respond with our job title. I must admit the first response that often leaps to mind is what I do in my "day job", as well. I've been conditioned to respond this way based upon years of linear, non-Middle Way Management thinking. This thinking was centered around a self-definition based upon my ego needs. For many years, I thought I was an "IT guy." It turns out I'm more than that. Much more.
You Are Not Your Job
As you develop your Middle Way Management practice, always remember you are not your job. You are more than your job. You are someone with a purpose that may or may not have anything whatsoever to do with your job. We have all come to this place at this time for a reason and it is one of your primary duties as Middle Way Managers to discover this reason. Granted, some people know in their hearts that their mission on this planet is to accomplish as much as possible in their organizational positions. Yet, I would remind these people that they, too, are not their jobs.
If you are confident you are fulfilling your life purpose in your current organizational position, I wish you well on your journey. If you are choosing to develop a Middle Way Management practice along the way, even better. But, what about those who do not feel they are in the right organizational position at the right time? What if you are a manager who feels you have somehow fallen off track? What if you, in fact, hate your job, yet you are stuck because you must pay the mortgage, get the kids through school, etc.?
There is hope in Middle Way Management. As you increase the mindful awareness and compassion with which you manage others, you will notice positive transformations developing in every aspect of your life. Shifting the way you choose to define yourself (i.e., you are more than your job) will spill over into every other compartment of your life. There is simply no way it cannot. By practicing awareness through breathing and constant mindfulness as a reactionary safety net, your sense of inner calm and general self-awareness will grow, sometimes without you even knowing it is happening.
Discovering Your True Nature
Combining the breathing exercise (from a previous post) with the phrase, "I am more than my job," is a way to calm yourself and discover your true nature. As you develop your Middle Way Management practice and devote time to reflective thought and aware breathing, you will come closer to discovering your true nature.
You will find that your true nature is more than your job title; it is who you are in the deepest part of your being and who you are becoming. It is in becoming that you will discover your own Middle Way Management path of consciously mindful compassion and genuine empathy. It is through the purposeful practice of Middle Way Management that you will find your true self.
Got a bad boss? How about a good one? My next post considers how to "manage up" using Middle Way Management.
Onward! Darin
Copyright © 2009, Darin R. Molnar, PhD. All rights reserved.
In previous posts, I talked about how many of our non-Middle Way Management™ behaviors are born of our fears. I discussed how ego's sole aim is self-preservation, even at the expense of the very creature it inhabits - you! In this post, my intent is to examine self-definition while taking into consideration the content of those previous posts.
So, What Do You Do?
Most of us respond to the question, "So, what do you do?" with a simple answer: "I am my job." We might not say those exact words, but that's what we really mean. "I'm a software engineer." "I'm a dental technician." "I'm a Middle Way Manager." Wouldn't that last answer elicit a surprised look with followup questions!? I always have a hard time answering the "What do you do?" question because I think it's nothing more than a limiting qualifier intended to pigeonhole me into a group or judgment category for the person asking. I often answer, "A little of this, a little of that," which generally doesn't go over very well.
My main concern here is with how people typically answer this question. Most of us respond with our job title. I must admit the first response that often leaps to mind is what I do in my "day job", as well. I've been conditioned to respond this way based upon years of linear, non-Middle Way Management thinking. This thinking was centered around a self-definition based upon my ego needs. For many years, I thought I was an "IT guy." It turns out I'm more than that. Much more.
You Are Not Your Job
As you develop your Middle Way Management practice, always remember you are not your job. You are more than your job. You are someone with a purpose that may or may not have anything whatsoever to do with your job. We have all come to this place at this time for a reason and it is one of your primary duties as Middle Way Managers to discover this reason. Granted, some people know in their hearts that their mission on this planet is to accomplish as much as possible in their organizational positions. Yet, I would remind these people that they, too, are not their jobs.
If you are confident you are fulfilling your life purpose in your current organizational position, I wish you well on your journey. If you are choosing to develop a Middle Way Management practice along the way, even better. But, what about those who do not feel they are in the right organizational position at the right time? What if you are a manager who feels you have somehow fallen off track? What if you, in fact, hate your job, yet you are stuck because you must pay the mortgage, get the kids through school, etc.?
There is hope in Middle Way Management. As you increase the mindful awareness and compassion with which you manage others, you will notice positive transformations developing in every aspect of your life. Shifting the way you choose to define yourself (i.e., you are more than your job) will spill over into every other compartment of your life. There is simply no way it cannot. By practicing awareness through breathing and constant mindfulness as a reactionary safety net, your sense of inner calm and general self-awareness will grow, sometimes without you even knowing it is happening.
Discovering Your True Nature
Combining the breathing exercise (from a previous post) with the phrase, "I am more than my job," is a way to calm yourself and discover your true nature. As you develop your Middle Way Management practice and devote time to reflective thought and aware breathing, you will come closer to discovering your true nature.
You will find that your true nature is more than your job title; it is who you are in the deepest part of your being and who you are becoming. It is in becoming that you will discover your own Middle Way Management path of consciously mindful compassion and genuine empathy. It is through the purposeful practice of Middle Way Management that you will find your true self.
Got a bad boss? How about a good one? My next post considers how to "manage up" using Middle Way Management.
Onward! Darin
Copyright © 2009, Darin R. Molnar, PhD. All rights reserved.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Middle Way Management and Organizational Culture
The Power of Culture
Culture informs our social interactions and how we construct societies and organizations at the collective level. It can determine the outcomes of our pursuit of personal goals and certainly affects our efficacy as organizational members. It is always there, yet it isn't because it's a reified concept of what we believe in the deepest corners of our hearts, and it determines how we behave in every context of our lives.
We belong to several cultures, and sub-cultures, at once. These cultures extend from the personal to the national and include just about every conceivable permutation between the two. Our cultural memberships largely determine our values (and our Values Intelligence), which determine our general and specific focuses in life.
For instance, I belong to the academic culture. Over time, I chose to participate in this culture by acquiring academic credentials and now must take certain steps and measures to maintain my standing in that community. Interestingly, I can opt out of this community in a passive way simply by choosing not to play. Conversely, other cultures are such a part of us that there is no way we can choose to let them go, passively or otherwise.
Some cultures are sodalities with fluid membership and some are so ingrained in us that they affect our decision making processes. A Harley-Davidson group is a sodality, while a religion is a deeply seated culture from which escape can be quite difficult. Regardless of its structural rigor, culture determines who comprises the "in-group" and the "out-group". Cultures are typically reified in hierarchical ways because humans harbor a biological need to organize mental structures hierarchically. It's just how we do things. This means that even within the in-group, sub-in-groups can exist.
The Meaning of Organizational Culture
Organizations as I consider them here are not necessarily profit driven enterprises. An organization is a collection of people committed to meeting agreed upon goals and objectives. Organizations can be created as the result of a culture's need for, well, organization. They can be loosely defined, but it's usually better if they are not. Specific definition provides the sort of clarity that removes barriers and creates common ground upon which organizational members can move forward with confidence.
As organizations grow and mature, even those with the best of intentions develop a unique culture. This can be based upon a shared worldview or preferred language, or, of course, both. I once worked at an organization where I was not allowed to use the word "but". But, I digress. Culture seems to be something that just happens; it is unavoidable. Based upon this reality, my concern here is with two things: (1) Is organizational culture hegemonic by nature and (2) if it is, does it cause suffering among organizational members?
Is Organizational Culture Hegemonic by Nature?
I've always made the assumption that culture is a good thing. As a student of archaeology, the recovery and analysis of material culture and the resulting inferences and assumptions about cultural norms and behaviors were the points of my studies. When cultural norms that challenged my sense of decency surfaced (e.g., cannibalism, slave holding, etc.), they were always viewed as interesting aspects of social-cultural groups long gone. Qualitative judgments about them were never a part of my analytical toolkit. Not so with organizational culture.
While some researchers such as Edgar Schein are content to describe and explain the levels and "dynamics" of organizational culture, others such as Geert Hofstede and Joseph Chilton Pearce have identified the constraint mechanisms of culture. Hofstede recognizes this in the title and body of his major work, Culture's Consequences: Comparing Values, Behaviors, Institutions and Organizations Across Nations. Pearce writes at length about how culture acts as a constraint on individual behaviors--and not always in good ways. The common undercurrent among all of these is a tacit recognition of the hegemonic nature of organizational culture.
Cultural hegemony is about the domination of one group by another. In the case of organizational culture, the in-group will always dominate the out-group. Organizational culture is hegemonic by nature. Those who do not align with organizational practices and behaviors suffer the consequences; they are brought into alignment through non-sanctioned coercion by organizational members, through corrective managerial action, or they are selected for involuntary exit. Members who will not or cannot find their organizational sweet spot endure long days of frustration and outright anguish; they clearly suffer. So, the answers to my two questions above are "Yes" and "Yes".
Relief of Organizational Suffering
The daily, mindful practice of Middle Way Management™ is a way to relieve suffering by overcoming the hegemony of organizational culture. At the individual level, a mindful Middle Way Management practice will result in attention to the details necessary to align yourself with organizational goals and objectives, if this is really what you want to do. The increased conscious awareness of what the organization truly represents can help you make decisions about your career path with--or without--the organization.
The daily, mindful practice of Middle Way Management can help you work to relieve the suffering of those you manage. Behaviors and language are your clues to the cultural alignment of your team members. A consistently negative attitude and behaviors that determine poor task results are often unconscious indicators of an organizational member's need for change. Most of the time, this need does not care if the change is positive or negative. From the member's unconscious viewpoint, it is change that is required--any kind of change.
As a Middle Way Manager™, it is your duty to help relieve the individual suffering of your team members. By relieving their suffering, you relieve organizational suffering, as well as the suffering of anyone with whom your team member interacts throughout the day. This Ripple Effect perspective will help you manage people with compassion, empathy, and understanding. Now that you understand the hegemonic nature of organizational culture, you have added structural clarity to your already vibrant Middle Way Management practice.
Go now, and manage with compassion!
Onward! Darin
Resources Mentioned in this Post
Hofstede, G. (1993). Cultural constraints in management theories. Academy of Management Executive, 7(1), 81-94.
Hofstede, G. (2001). Culture's consequences: Comparing values, behaviors, institutions, and organizations across nations (2nd ed.). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publications, Inc.
Hofstede, G., & Hofstede, G. J. (2005). Cultures and organizations: Software of the mind (2nd ed.). New York: McGraw-Hill Publishing Company.
Pearce, J. C. (2002). The crack in the cosmic egg: New constructs of mind and reality. South Paris, ME: Park Street Press.
Pearce, J. C. (2004). The biology of transcendence: A blueprint of the human spirit. South Paris, ME: Park Street Press.
Schein, E. H. (1990). Organizational culture. American Psychologist, 45(2), 109-119.
Schein, E. H. (2004). Organizational culture and leadership (3rd ed.). San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.
Copyright © 2009, Darin R. Molnar, PhD. All rights reserved.
Culture informs our social interactions and how we construct societies and organizations at the collective level. It can determine the outcomes of our pursuit of personal goals and certainly affects our efficacy as organizational members. It is always there, yet it isn't because it's a reified concept of what we believe in the deepest corners of our hearts, and it determines how we behave in every context of our lives.
We belong to several cultures, and sub-cultures, at once. These cultures extend from the personal to the national and include just about every conceivable permutation between the two. Our cultural memberships largely determine our values (and our Values Intelligence), which determine our general and specific focuses in life.
For instance, I belong to the academic culture. Over time, I chose to participate in this culture by acquiring academic credentials and now must take certain steps and measures to maintain my standing in that community. Interestingly, I can opt out of this community in a passive way simply by choosing not to play. Conversely, other cultures are such a part of us that there is no way we can choose to let them go, passively or otherwise.
Some cultures are sodalities with fluid membership and some are so ingrained in us that they affect our decision making processes. A Harley-Davidson group is a sodality, while a religion is a deeply seated culture from which escape can be quite difficult. Regardless of its structural rigor, culture determines who comprises the "in-group" and the "out-group". Cultures are typically reified in hierarchical ways because humans harbor a biological need to organize mental structures hierarchically. It's just how we do things. This means that even within the in-group, sub-in-groups can exist.
The Meaning of Organizational Culture
Organizations as I consider them here are not necessarily profit driven enterprises. An organization is a collection of people committed to meeting agreed upon goals and objectives. Organizations can be created as the result of a culture's need for, well, organization. They can be loosely defined, but it's usually better if they are not. Specific definition provides the sort of clarity that removes barriers and creates common ground upon which organizational members can move forward with confidence.
As organizations grow and mature, even those with the best of intentions develop a unique culture. This can be based upon a shared worldview or preferred language, or, of course, both. I once worked at an organization where I was not allowed to use the word "but". But, I digress. Culture seems to be something that just happens; it is unavoidable. Based upon this reality, my concern here is with two things: (1) Is organizational culture hegemonic by nature and (2) if it is, does it cause suffering among organizational members?
Is Organizational Culture Hegemonic by Nature?
I've always made the assumption that culture is a good thing. As a student of archaeology, the recovery and analysis of material culture and the resulting inferences and assumptions about cultural norms and behaviors were the points of my studies. When cultural norms that challenged my sense of decency surfaced (e.g., cannibalism, slave holding, etc.), they were always viewed as interesting aspects of social-cultural groups long gone. Qualitative judgments about them were never a part of my analytical toolkit. Not so with organizational culture.
While some researchers such as Edgar Schein are content to describe and explain the levels and "dynamics" of organizational culture, others such as Geert Hofstede and Joseph Chilton Pearce have identified the constraint mechanisms of culture. Hofstede recognizes this in the title and body of his major work, Culture's Consequences: Comparing Values, Behaviors, Institutions and Organizations Across Nations. Pearce writes at length about how culture acts as a constraint on individual behaviors--and not always in good ways. The common undercurrent among all of these is a tacit recognition of the hegemonic nature of organizational culture.
Cultural hegemony is about the domination of one group by another. In the case of organizational culture, the in-group will always dominate the out-group. Organizational culture is hegemonic by nature. Those who do not align with organizational practices and behaviors suffer the consequences; they are brought into alignment through non-sanctioned coercion by organizational members, through corrective managerial action, or they are selected for involuntary exit. Members who will not or cannot find their organizational sweet spot endure long days of frustration and outright anguish; they clearly suffer. So, the answers to my two questions above are "Yes" and "Yes".
Relief of Organizational Suffering
The daily, mindful practice of Middle Way Management™ is a way to relieve suffering by overcoming the hegemony of organizational culture. At the individual level, a mindful Middle Way Management practice will result in attention to the details necessary to align yourself with organizational goals and objectives, if this is really what you want to do. The increased conscious awareness of what the organization truly represents can help you make decisions about your career path with--or without--the organization.
The daily, mindful practice of Middle Way Management can help you work to relieve the suffering of those you manage. Behaviors and language are your clues to the cultural alignment of your team members. A consistently negative attitude and behaviors that determine poor task results are often unconscious indicators of an organizational member's need for change. Most of the time, this need does not care if the change is positive or negative. From the member's unconscious viewpoint, it is change that is required--any kind of change.
As a Middle Way Manager™, it is your duty to help relieve the individual suffering of your team members. By relieving their suffering, you relieve organizational suffering, as well as the suffering of anyone with whom your team member interacts throughout the day. This Ripple Effect perspective will help you manage people with compassion, empathy, and understanding. Now that you understand the hegemonic nature of organizational culture, you have added structural clarity to your already vibrant Middle Way Management practice.
Go now, and manage with compassion!
Onward! Darin
Resources Mentioned in this Post
Hofstede, G. (1993). Cultural constraints in management theories. Academy of Management Executive, 7(1), 81-94.
Hofstede, G. (2001). Culture's consequences: Comparing values, behaviors, institutions, and organizations across nations (2nd ed.). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publications, Inc.
Hofstede, G., & Hofstede, G. J. (2005). Cultures and organizations: Software of the mind (2nd ed.). New York: McGraw-Hill Publishing Company.
Pearce, J. C. (2002). The crack in the cosmic egg: New constructs of mind and reality. South Paris, ME: Park Street Press.
Pearce, J. C. (2004). The biology of transcendence: A blueprint of the human spirit. South Paris, ME: Park Street Press.
Schein, E. H. (1990). Organizational culture. American Psychologist, 45(2), 109-119.
Schein, E. H. (2004). Organizational culture and leadership (3rd ed.). San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.
Copyright © 2009, Darin R. Molnar, PhD. All rights reserved.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Walking the Middle Way Management Talk
Approaching Ego and Fear with Mindful Awareness
In my last post, I talked about the role of ego and how to face your fears and limitations as a way to enhance your practice of Middle Way Management™. When you recognize that ego is pushing your emotions to the limit or that your fears are getting the best of you, you can take immediate, proactive steps to relieve your own suffering.
By relieving your own suffering, you relieve the suffering of those you lead and manage in both tangible and unforeseen ways. By relieving your own suffering and the suffering of those around you, you relieve suffering throughout your organization via the Ripple Effect.
As a busy Middle Way Manager™, you can accomplish this in two ways, both of which will bring you to a settled place of conscious awareness in the midst of organizational chaos.
The First Approach: Breathing in Awareness
You have one thing in common with everyone else currently living on the planet: You breathe in and you breathe out. When you stop doing this, you've reached what system scientists call the "terminal state." This is not good for your Middle Way Management practice or for your health in general, so do keep breathing.
Recognizing that you breathe in and out on a regular basis, you can use your breath as a way to increase your mindfulness. By coming back to an awareness of your breathing, you are acknowledging your place in the world, that you are vital and alive, doing what you enjoy - managing people in an organization. In this way, you can not only return to your personal island of calm when everything is busting loose around you, you can use it as a way to increase your awareness throughout your busy day.
One of the best ways to practice mindful breathing is to silently recite a phrase or two while breathing in and breathing out. The phrase(s) you choose can be anything you find meaningful and should be something positive that calms you and helps settle your racing mind. For instance, I use two brief phrases: "I am breathing in here, now," and "I am breathing out here, now."
Very simple.
And it helps me focus (those of you who know me well will appreciate this). This is not a mystical or religious practice; it simply brings me back to an awareness of where I am and what I am doing so that I'm living NOW, rather in a "coulda woulda shoulda" space. In my own case, this activity has led me to an increasingly mindful approach to life in general, but that's another post for another time.
Choose two meaningful phrases right now and give it a shot - practice mindful breathing that brings you back to a calm place of awareness. Easy stuff.
The Second Approach: Anchoring a Calming Association
I understand that not every situation will allow you to stop what you're doing to calm your breathing and increase your mindful awareness. Believe me, I've been in those meetings where the fur is flying and it's not a terribly pleasant experience. Typically, the last thing on my mind is coming back to my breathing. Recognizing this brings us to the second approach: Anchoring a calming association.
Anchoring a calming association requires a little more effort than mindful breathing, but not too much more. Anchoring is a proven Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP) technique that has been used quite effectively for many years now. Anchoring yourself to a calming association is something you can accomplish very quickly, certainly within the time it takes to read this blog post.
The key to anchoring is your ability to put yourself into a positive emotional state. I do this by thinking of a specific pleasant event I enjoyed with my children. This state does not necessarily have to be overwhelmingly intense, yet it should be something more than a pleasant thought. You must emotionalize your state so the anchoring has a chance to "take." Once you're in a positively emotionalized state, pinch (not hard) the muscle of your hand between your thumb and forefinger. Repeat this exercise until pinching the muscle under just about any circumstance puts you into your chosen pleasant state. Congratulations, you're anchored.
Now, when someone is treating you in a not-so-mindfully-conscious way, you have an unobtrusive anchor you can use to diffuse your own emotional reactions, thereby relieving your own suffering and, probably, that of the person with whom you are interacting. Out of a mindful awareness created by referencing your anchor, you will not be reactive, your voice will be low and calm, and you may even smile (if appropriate).
As you did with your mindful breathing, try this now. It's not hard to do and you can begin using your anchor immediately (why wait?).
That's it for this message. In my next post, I'll discuss how to transcend the hegemony of organizational culture through mindful awareness and the compassionate practice of Middle Way Management. This is important for the Middle Way Manager as a way of maintaining a consciously mindful awareness in the midst of an organizational culture that emphasizes the less compassionate aspects of Western-style capitalism.
Onward! Darin
Copyright © 2009, Darin R. Molnar, PhD. All rights reserved.
In my last post, I talked about the role of ego and how to face your fears and limitations as a way to enhance your practice of Middle Way Management™. When you recognize that ego is pushing your emotions to the limit or that your fears are getting the best of you, you can take immediate, proactive steps to relieve your own suffering.
By relieving your own suffering, you relieve the suffering of those you lead and manage in both tangible and unforeseen ways. By relieving your own suffering and the suffering of those around you, you relieve suffering throughout your organization via the Ripple Effect.
As a busy Middle Way Manager™, you can accomplish this in two ways, both of which will bring you to a settled place of conscious awareness in the midst of organizational chaos.
The First Approach: Breathing in Awareness
You have one thing in common with everyone else currently living on the planet: You breathe in and you breathe out. When you stop doing this, you've reached what system scientists call the "terminal state." This is not good for your Middle Way Management practice or for your health in general, so do keep breathing.
Recognizing that you breathe in and out on a regular basis, you can use your breath as a way to increase your mindfulness. By coming back to an awareness of your breathing, you are acknowledging your place in the world, that you are vital and alive, doing what you enjoy - managing people in an organization. In this way, you can not only return to your personal island of calm when everything is busting loose around you, you can use it as a way to increase your awareness throughout your busy day.
One of the best ways to practice mindful breathing is to silently recite a phrase or two while breathing in and breathing out. The phrase(s) you choose can be anything you find meaningful and should be something positive that calms you and helps settle your racing mind. For instance, I use two brief phrases: "I am breathing in here, now," and "I am breathing out here, now."
Very simple.
And it helps me focus (those of you who know me well will appreciate this). This is not a mystical or religious practice; it simply brings me back to an awareness of where I am and what I am doing so that I'm living NOW, rather in a "coulda woulda shoulda" space. In my own case, this activity has led me to an increasingly mindful approach to life in general, but that's another post for another time.
Choose two meaningful phrases right now and give it a shot - practice mindful breathing that brings you back to a calm place of awareness. Easy stuff.
The Second Approach: Anchoring a Calming Association
I understand that not every situation will allow you to stop what you're doing to calm your breathing and increase your mindful awareness. Believe me, I've been in those meetings where the fur is flying and it's not a terribly pleasant experience. Typically, the last thing on my mind is coming back to my breathing. Recognizing this brings us to the second approach: Anchoring a calming association.
Anchoring a calming association requires a little more effort than mindful breathing, but not too much more. Anchoring is a proven Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP) technique that has been used quite effectively for many years now. Anchoring yourself to a calming association is something you can accomplish very quickly, certainly within the time it takes to read this blog post.
The key to anchoring is your ability to put yourself into a positive emotional state. I do this by thinking of a specific pleasant event I enjoyed with my children. This state does not necessarily have to be overwhelmingly intense, yet it should be something more than a pleasant thought. You must emotionalize your state so the anchoring has a chance to "take." Once you're in a positively emotionalized state, pinch (not hard) the muscle of your hand between your thumb and forefinger. Repeat this exercise until pinching the muscle under just about any circumstance puts you into your chosen pleasant state. Congratulations, you're anchored.
Now, when someone is treating you in a not-so-mindfully-conscious way, you have an unobtrusive anchor you can use to diffuse your own emotional reactions, thereby relieving your own suffering and, probably, that of the person with whom you are interacting. Out of a mindful awareness created by referencing your anchor, you will not be reactive, your voice will be low and calm, and you may even smile (if appropriate).
As you did with your mindful breathing, try this now. It's not hard to do and you can begin using your anchor immediately (why wait?).
That's it for this message. In my next post, I'll discuss how to transcend the hegemony of organizational culture through mindful awareness and the compassionate practice of Middle Way Management. This is important for the Middle Way Manager as a way of maintaining a consciously mindful awareness in the midst of an organizational culture that emphasizes the less compassionate aspects of Western-style capitalism.
Onward! Darin
Copyright © 2009, Darin R. Molnar, PhD. All rights reserved.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Middle Way Management and the Self
Recognizing Our Fears and Limitations
Psychotherapy has much to offer Middle Way Management™, particularly with regard to our sense of Self and our ego natures, and how both of these inform our interactions with others.
We are told by psychologists that our sense of self begins to evolve early in our lives - very early. As we come to recognize that we are separate from our mothers and then our fathers, we develop multiple fears that affect how we define ourselves over the course of our lifetimes. This can be a good thing or a not-so-good thing. As we strive in later life to increase our awareness and compassionate practice, we ultimately arrive at a place where we must bravely face our fears head-on and recognize and acknowledge our limitations.
Some people never arrive at this place of increased awareness. These are the managers with which we are all too familiar: The controlling, perpetually nervous, often angry, somewhat sociopathic supervisors who largely determine our success or failure in an organization. In these cases, little introspection has been exercised and reaction has become the modus operandi. Exuberant reactivity is the result of a self-definition that values difference so that every situation is a competition, rather than an opportunity for collaboration. The best examples of this are managers who model their operational wisdom on ideas from books such as The Art of War or The Prince, rather than the I Ching or The Bible.
The Ego and Self-definition
The ego as I discuss it here is interested in one thing: survival. Given the fact that American-style managers have been raised in a predominantly egoistic social milieu, it is not surprising that the metaphors used in an organizational management context usually involve competitive, or even war-like, language. Listen to the words a manager uses; they are the true indicators of the management approach. Words are powerful things; they not only reflect our thoughts, they become our actions and behaviors. As members of an egoistic society, it is extremely difficult to break out of such behavioral patterns because they have become comfortable and assuage the constant, underlying (i.e., unconscious) fears we all harbor deep in our hearts.
As a typical American-style manager transcends fear through consciously mindful awareness, his metaphors begin to morph into something less brutal. This often results in both the manager and the organization coming to the realization that the mutual fit once so convenient to all parties no longer applies. In this case, the manager will either self-select for exit or be aggressively separated by the organization. Either way, this gets at self-definition and how important it is that we not only define ourselves in ways appropriate to our intended goals and objectives, but that these goals and objectives mesh with those of the organization.
I've been "aggressively separated" (yes, fired) from an organization for "practicing servant leadership without a license" because I did not understand that my chosen management style and personal path were at odds with the organizational assumptions and perceptions of what it takes to effectively lead and manage people. Had I understood this sooner, I would have left on my own. Isn't the 20/20 vision of hindsight grand?
Decisions to Make
As you develop your Middle Way Management practice, you must be keenly aware of what such a commitment entails. Middle Way Managers are compassionate and empathetic, while, at the same time, holding people accountable for their words and actions. If you are entering an organization as a new managerial member, ensure the organization will support your philosophy before you take up residence. Likewise, if you decide to shift to a mindful awareness and embrace Middle Way Management in a context in which your prior words and actions may not have been so compassionate and empathetic, be prepared for resistance and possible fallout from your decision.
In the end, it's about whom you decide you are. What's your definition of your Self? Are you ready to create ripples of positive energy that extend beyond your organization and into the lives of those you manage? Are you prepared for how your friends and loved ones will react to your new comportment? Be aware that those already familiar with your "style" will not come around to your new way of thinking, speaking, and acting immediately; they will continue to interact and react with you as if you are still your un-conscious, and not-so-compassionate, self. This is truly an opportunity for you to practice the patience and kindness I talked about in my first post here.
And how does one really go about doing all of this? Well, that's the topic of my next post, of course. Stay tuned - you'll like what I have to say.
Onward! Darin
Copyright © 2009, Darin R. Molnar, PhD. All rights reserved.
Psychotherapy has much to offer Middle Way Management™, particularly with regard to our sense of Self and our ego natures, and how both of these inform our interactions with others.
We are told by psychologists that our sense of self begins to evolve early in our lives - very early. As we come to recognize that we are separate from our mothers and then our fathers, we develop multiple fears that affect how we define ourselves over the course of our lifetimes. This can be a good thing or a not-so-good thing. As we strive in later life to increase our awareness and compassionate practice, we ultimately arrive at a place where we must bravely face our fears head-on and recognize and acknowledge our limitations.
Some people never arrive at this place of increased awareness. These are the managers with which we are all too familiar: The controlling, perpetually nervous, often angry, somewhat sociopathic supervisors who largely determine our success or failure in an organization. In these cases, little introspection has been exercised and reaction has become the modus operandi. Exuberant reactivity is the result of a self-definition that values difference so that every situation is a competition, rather than an opportunity for collaboration. The best examples of this are managers who model their operational wisdom on ideas from books such as The Art of War or The Prince, rather than the I Ching or The Bible.
The Ego and Self-definition
The ego as I discuss it here is interested in one thing: survival. Given the fact that American-style managers have been raised in a predominantly egoistic social milieu, it is not surprising that the metaphors used in an organizational management context usually involve competitive, or even war-like, language. Listen to the words a manager uses; they are the true indicators of the management approach. Words are powerful things; they not only reflect our thoughts, they become our actions and behaviors. As members of an egoistic society, it is extremely difficult to break out of such behavioral patterns because they have become comfortable and assuage the constant, underlying (i.e., unconscious) fears we all harbor deep in our hearts.
As a typical American-style manager transcends fear through consciously mindful awareness, his metaphors begin to morph into something less brutal. This often results in both the manager and the organization coming to the realization that the mutual fit once so convenient to all parties no longer applies. In this case, the manager will either self-select for exit or be aggressively separated by the organization. Either way, this gets at self-definition and how important it is that we not only define ourselves in ways appropriate to our intended goals and objectives, but that these goals and objectives mesh with those of the organization.
I've been "aggressively separated" (yes, fired) from an organization for "practicing servant leadership without a license" because I did not understand that my chosen management style and personal path were at odds with the organizational assumptions and perceptions of what it takes to effectively lead and manage people. Had I understood this sooner, I would have left on my own. Isn't the 20/20 vision of hindsight grand?
Decisions to Make
As you develop your Middle Way Management practice, you must be keenly aware of what such a commitment entails. Middle Way Managers are compassionate and empathetic, while, at the same time, holding people accountable for their words and actions. If you are entering an organization as a new managerial member, ensure the organization will support your philosophy before you take up residence. Likewise, if you decide to shift to a mindful awareness and embrace Middle Way Management in a context in which your prior words and actions may not have been so compassionate and empathetic, be prepared for resistance and possible fallout from your decision.
In the end, it's about whom you decide you are. What's your definition of your Self? Are you ready to create ripples of positive energy that extend beyond your organization and into the lives of those you manage? Are you prepared for how your friends and loved ones will react to your new comportment? Be aware that those already familiar with your "style" will not come around to your new way of thinking, speaking, and acting immediately; they will continue to interact and react with you as if you are still your un-conscious, and not-so-compassionate, self. This is truly an opportunity for you to practice the patience and kindness I talked about in my first post here.
And how does one really go about doing all of this? Well, that's the topic of my next post, of course. Stay tuned - you'll like what I have to say.
Onward! Darin
Copyright © 2009, Darin R. Molnar, PhD. All rights reserved.
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